ANGEL IN THE DARK - J.JK✔️

07

Working all night right after the end of classes, studying hard to get good grades, promised conversations that in the end were never discussed.

'If we start being honest about our pain, our anger, and our shortcomings instead of pretending they don't exist, then maybe we'll leave the world a better place than we found it'

- Russel Wilson

'Mental health... is not a destination but a process. It's about how you drive, not where you're going'

                                                                                                                                                        - Noam Shpancer PhD

One of my new hobbies is reading quotes about mental health, thinking about me as an actual fortunate girl with no physical or psychological problem, but these references give me hope.

Not a problematic girl, just a little bit unlucky.

That's what my mum always said.

Good enough to finish the second year of university with the best marks, but too young and inexperienced to do anything.

Got refused by many companies and forced to go back as a waitress, same place same shifts, lower salary.

"Faster Y/n! Don't you see that customers are waiting? Do I have to remind you how you came back to me sliding on the floor to get your job back? How you desperately begged me to hire you once again?" since the day I returned working here, my boss has been rude to me and always remembered all the bad memories. Also my other coworker here left because of our boss's rudeness.

Those pictures keep popping up every time I meet up with my friend Jennie unnie and Jisoo sunbae.

They've been working for Seokjin sunbaenim for almost a year now and his company is very popular nowadays.

Yoongi sunbaenim is about to get his doctoral degree in just a month, and the others are all studying for that program.

Also they've inally found some secretary for everybody and I got to know them in one of our encounters, they're really nice girls, they also wanted to become my friend and also asked me to drop formality and swich from 'sunbaenim' to 'unnie'.

"It's great working for Jin! We all learned fast our work and helped each other in the process. We can trust each other and have fun while working" Jennie unnie smiles brightly at me and then draws her attention to her manager Taehyung sunbaenim.

Meeting with them is always the best, in the first place, right when I received the bad news from Seokjin sunbaenim, I took a good month off, without seeing anybody and when I started feeling a little bit better, I eventually apologized for my absence and hang out with them more often.

That's basically when I became close to the other girls.

It also hurts a lot, all of them happy with their good job, some of them still studying for their dreams and others working full time building the foundations of their own future.

"Now rest, we'll talk about it tomorrow" Jackson says hugging me tightly and fading away in the dark.

That day was our first and last kiss, where he left me home because I was feeling sick due to too many thoughts and the strong headache.

Maybe he regretted everything that happened between us, or else he would finally find the courage to chat about that kiss, as we still haven't properly talked about it.

Excuses on excuses, not a single day where I would bring that up to him and he immediately turns me down making something up.

Still, he texts me every day and hugs me, teasing and flirting with me as if nothing ever happened. My interest in him was still the same, the butterflies in my body increased.

Always find myself walking on top of a string, wanting him more than a friend but too afraid to lose him.

"I already told you Y/n. After studying and working all day long, you're very tired. It's pretty common to confuse things." my mum kept on convincing me every time I would tell her over the phone about the chasing episodes, which didn't stop.

During this long year, I kept on taking pictures and videos with my phone, that mysterious man wearing the same sweatshirt and sweatpants, his face covered by his hoodie and by the darkness.

Many proofs but none of these are attributable.

'You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it's enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up."

- Richelle E. Goodrich

'Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.'

- Martin Luther King Jr

My fear of the dark. Nobody knows about that except for my mum and dad, they're the only ones that know that I still sleep with a small night light on.

Every single night, that mini lamp gives me strength and relaxes me, enabling me to sleep well and calm.

That night, right after me and Jackson's first kiss, when he put me to bed, I felt like sleeping in total darkness.