Different Shades of Pink and Green/ matchablossom 🍵🌸

A Sleepless Night

I whispered a secret
That we will only know
"I witnessed it all"
the night said.

Cherry's pov:

"Ko... why did you stop..." I said looking at him with desperation. In all my years of knowing Kojiro I never thought I would be in this situation: helpless and needy for him. I know it might be because of the alcohol but still... me desperate for Joe's touch... that's something I never thought I was capable of.

"We can't Kaoru... not today..."

What do mean ? Did he regret it already. I knew it was a bad idea. I fucked up. He hated me. I knew it since long ago Joe was into women. Him being with me was just ... too good to be true. I'm a man. I dont have boobs or a soft, fragile body. I must be disgusting to touch... right...? I hated myself.

"Kaoru I didn't mean it like that..."

Before he could finish his sentenced, I looked away, staring directly at the door in my room. I wanted a hole to swallow me entirely away from this moment.

"It's okay... I did expect that to happen. It was too sudden. You are used to girls and ..." Before I could finish my sentence, he grabbed my face, making him face him and kissed me. The kiss lasted for a minute, getting deeper with every second. I felt it getting hot. Our breathes were getting more intense, that my lips started to shake. Was it from the fear of letting go or because it felt so good? I didn't imagine a kiss would feel this amazing.

"Ko..." I let out between our breathes.

Slowly he started to get away, leaving a warm feeling on my lips. By the time our lips were far from each others, I craved them back again.

"Kaoru, I don't regret shit. I love you. I meant it. I just want to take it slow for today. A lot of things happened and we both need rest..."

"Why? Is it awkward because we have been friends for a long time? Or is because..." I stopped. I was starting to imagine the worst. Why did I have to be so needy? Why do I have to interpret every single little thing? I was mad at Joe for rejecting me but deep down I knew that I was more mad at myself for being that way. Insecure.

"Kaoru you know it's not true. It's not that. I just wanted to take it slow..."

"And why is that? Do you need time to think about whether a girl is better than a guy? Let me help you with that!" I pressed my lips again onto his, wrapping my arms around his neck. After a few second, I made my way to his lower lip and bit it slowly. He moaned. That was my chance. I slid my tongue inside his mouth, exploring everywhere. He started to breath faster until I felt his hands grab my shoulders, pushing me away from him.

"Kaoru... stop for a second. Let me explain." He said while trying to catch his breath.

"Explain? There is nothing to explain. It's clear you are uncertain!" Why was I so mad? Why was I acting this way. I was impatient. My insecurities were activated one after the other making me feel like shit. That I was worthless. Even if he might hate me later, if he accept me, just for a moment, I didn't mind.

Without saying a word, I made my way to his pants, unzipping it, revealing his black boxers.

"Kaoru what are you doing?"

Still silent, I get closer and kiss the surface of the thin fabric separating my lips and his dick.

"Kaoru wait a second" he managed to say, breathing heavily.

I wanted him to be inside me. I wanted him to fill with pleasure. I wanted to connect and be one with him. But more importantly, I wanted reassurance.
I took the last bit of confidence I had in me to start licking the fabric. Small licks, enough to make him grunt. I know he was feeling it. He was getting hard.

Joe's pov:

It took every single part of me not to lose control. I wanted him as much as he wanted me. But it was just not a good time. I wanted our first time to me more ... perfect. I had this ideal plan where we would go on a date and spend some time skating. Then we would eat delicious food that I would have cooked. After, when the stars are up in the sky, I would take him back to my house, open his favorite bottle of wine and spend the entire night holding him. Looking into those beautiful eyes. I needed to stop him.

"Kaoru... please wait a second... I ... I need to..." With every word I said, he got rougher. His licks got more intense and I could feel his hand making their way under my boxers.

"Ka... babe wait a second..." he stopped for a slight moment, looking up.

"Why should I? Do you hate it that much?"

His voice started to crack. I knew it immediately. He was crying. All I managed to do tonight was make him cry.

"Baby, come here." I grabbed his arms, pulling him upward facing me. He had some saliva dripping down his lip. I wiped it off, caressing his face. "Listen here. I want to do it with you more than anything but I wanted it to be more prepared. I don't want to hurt you. I wanted to make it special so you can never forget it." His tears were dripping down his face, making a mess out of him. But he was so sexy. Damn Kaoru.

"I'm scared Ko. What if you regret choosing me? What if what you said was in the heat of the moment?"

"Baby I want to be with you. I always wanted to be with you. It might have been all sudden to you but those are my true feelings. They have always been." I held him tighter, pressing him against my chest. He could definitely hear my heart beating faster as if it was about to get out of my chest. I started to play with his soft and beautiful hair, giving him the reassurance he needed.

"I'm sorry Ko... I'm sorry for being so selfish and childish. I also wanted out first time to be more special. But I thought of the worst and it got out of hands. I'm..."

Before he could finish his sentence, I looked him in his eyes and whispered on this beautiful night "I love you Kaoru." He smiled. It was the first smile he gave me all night. The crying had stopped.

"I love you too" he whispered back.

It felt like we were kids, whispering secrets. In fact it was a secret that only us two will ever understand. Those feelings were ours only and the night was our witness.

I kissed his forehead and held him in my arms. I don't remember when we started to doze off, but I remember feeling relaxed before Kaoru and I fell asleep in each others arms.

By that time
The night was long gone.