Different Shades of Pink and Green/ matchablossom 🍵🌸

Rumble - Side Story #3

I ran as fast as I could
I reached places I never knew existed.
Until there was nothing but emptiness.

I knew...

Breaking the chains of the past,
Meant letting go of him.
I suffered but I loved it.

Tadashi's pov:

I locked myself in my room. The rain was pouring outside and the sound it made on my window rhymed with my heartbeat. Everything was overflowing.

I was no longer trapped... but why does it feel like I was still suffocating? It felt worse than before. Nothing I have ever felt.

My sobbing got heavier by the second, my breathing got louder, and I didn't care who could hear. I didn't care anymore if I disturbed anyone. My quiet self just reached a limit. I was ready to scream. I even hoped he could hear me from upstairs... I hoped he would rush back down, slam the door open and hold me in his arm.

But how delusional was I being? He would never care about anyone other than himself. I could die any second and he wouldn't blink an eye. Who was I to dream to be special for him?

Was I even allowed to feel that way?

Mother always talked about love and how it is a magical moment meeting the love of your life. She made it so easy to imagine and dream about it. Even though she married a poor man who couldn't defend himself nor his family... he was still good in her eyes.... Maybe even perfect. His title remained the love of her life to her.

At least my mother managed to reach my father. They were similar and it made life easier for them.

Adam was on another pedestal than mine. He was higher and brighter. Who am I kidding...? I don't even have a pedestal.

How did I end up falling for someone unreachable? Not only it was forbidden but he never once looked my way. His eyes followed one person, the prettiest gem out there... Kaoru. That's why they dated in high school and why he still followed him... even until today.

I made myself believe we were similar. I saw myself in him and convinced myself that he was "perfect" for me. I was attached but he wasn't. He didn't need me to complete him. I was just pretending to have something real.

Nothing seemed real anymore.
Not the rain outside.
Not the darkness in my room.
Not my feelings.
Not me.

Everything was an play my brain wrote for me to act. I was just a puppet to Adam and my thoughts. I obeyed without questioning if it is what I wanted or not. Even now, if he asked me to come back, I know I wouldn't be able to resist. I would crawl back to him without any second thought.

I disregarded myself. Still do. Nothing mattered to me except him. It just hit me.

The role was created for me, and I was made for this role.

How could I be
So naïve
to think I had you
maybe I'm just dumb

I'm just a foul
So naïve.

"I'm not okay" by JVKE

Adam's pov:

"FUCK" my voice echoed in the empty, cold room. I stared at the door, hoping it would open any second now. Hoping that he reappears in front of me. Hoping that he would look at me. Hoping for this nightmare to end.

But hope was never on my side.

Silence reigned over the space. It captured my thoughts and forced them to rush out of my brain. He was gone. I lost him. I pushed him to his limits, I crushed his heart and broken his chains. He was better off without me. We both knew it.

Since the biggening,
Everyone knew that
he was always better off without me.

He would have found a good person to make him smile every day with no doubt. Someone who would have cherished everything about him. Someone who would have known how to love him.

I could never be that person. How can I even let myself believe that I could have ever been this person for him? I took so much from him and never gave him a single day of rest, of comfort, of love.

My role as a villain was just beyond perfection. No villain fucked up more than I did. I was better off alone. If he never approached me that day, I wouldn't have to deal with those scary emotions.

Now, I feel stuck.

The author of my story ruined me. I want to be able to go to his room, stop him from leave me but I can't.

My legs won't work, my voice will tremble, and my heart will turn cold.

My presence is poisonous to him.

He deserves better.
He deserves better.

He deserves better.
He deserves better.

He deserves better.
He deserves better.

He deserves better.
He deserves better.

He deserves better.

I repeated, trying to have some self-control.
I needed to keep myself locked between those prison walls.
He will be free tomorrow.
He will find what he deserves but...

"FUCK FUCK FUUUUCKKK!!!!" I yelled. The thoughts of him being happy without me... with someone else, kills me. I'm afraid to admit to myself how I truly feel.

I hate this role. I wish I was never born. Maybe people would have been happier. Kojiro and Kaoru would have found happiness sooner, my mom would still be alive, and Tadashi would have kept on smiling.

The villain never suited me, but it had to be done. No one could have handled it with their innocent hearts and pure minds. It was just bound to exist for me.

"FUCK!" I screamed one last time.

Nothing matters anymore. If I get caught tomorrow for all the evil I did, I will give in and let myself lose. For once I just want peace.

I'm fine as long as Tadashi smiles again.

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🌸Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Reminder I am not trying to give a reason for his rotten behavior but I believe everyone has a story that needs to be heard. I am not trying to explain or defend his action. What he did is unforgivable but he you all deserve to know where he comes. Plus we never knew what happened to him after Joe and Cherry reunite 🌸
Don't forget that you can suggests ideas if you want to! 🍵