Different Shades of Pink and Green/ matchablossom 🍵🌸

Rumble - Side Story #4

I dreamt of endless nights
Warm and sweet
With you my dear

I dreamt of the moon's whispers
And your kiss on my lips

I dreamt of you every night
Coming back to me.

Yes,
I dreamt.

Tadashi's pov:

Honestly, leaving the mansion is probably the best choice I have ever made. He doesn't want me. Never did and never will. I gave him my everything, but he gave me nothing back. I really never asked for too much, expect for your affection, time and love.

Is that asking too much?

I convinced myself that you did love me in your own unique way. That even if you didn't show it to me, deep down you did acknowledge my existence.

I convinced myself that the way you treated me was just a mask you had on to cover your real emotions so that everyone can fear you. That the real you, that loved me, still existed inside.

I convinced myself that you loved me the same way I did.

That's embarrassing to even say... love? I wonder what's that for you?
Do I even mean anything to you?

Or is love another unreal concept manmade to twist our minds and control our thoughts and emotions. Is it a tool of manipulation? A tool of torture?

Do you think I deserve the pain and suffering I am in or was I just fated to bleed?

I kept feeling pain, my scars would itch, and I felt like I was going crazy.

That's why, right now, I was done running after a creation of my imagination. After an illusion that my mind has set for me. I was done following an empty heart blindly expecting it to bleed like mine.

Today was the day where I break those chains free and leave the mansion. Leave him behind and try to live a life that suits me best. I remembered all the sleepless nights where I had to stay awake because he wanted me to do something for him and if I didn't have it done by the morning, he would remind me of how useless I was. He never once thanked me for the effort I made.

I end doubting myself. I felt powerless. His words affected my every move. I was getting tired.

I also tried to stop him from becoming a monster in everyone's eyes. I tried my best to make him see that I still loved him even if others hated him. I tried to convince him to stop any twisted plan he had to hurt other. But he kept fucking my mind over and over without any mercy.

Just like a puppet, he kept me close to him, in chains.

"Mister Tadashi, the driver is here." The maid's voice echoed through the door. I looked around. This room, those halls, this mansion was my home for more than 20 years now. All I ever knew was this house, the people in it, the smell of the furniture... I never saw it as a scary place rather it was a place where I cherish memories that I will always remember.

But today marks the end of this home.

"I am coming" I yelled as I walked toward the door. A bag in my hands, I took a deep breath and opened the door.

"You are seriously leaving?" A voice froze me in place. I looked at the floor beneath my feet. I knew who it was. Adam. He was just outside my room, leaning on the wall. It was probably the first time he ever came here. I have never seen him come close to this door. I was shocked that I couldn't move. I didn't know what to say, where to look, how to act. I wondered what I should do, how I can escape this situation.

"Yesterday you had plenty to say... Don't you want to talk no more?" Adam asked another time.

Without any word, I turned back facing my door, getting back inside the bedroom. I hoped that if I came back out after some time, he would just be a glimpse of my imagination. As I stepped inside my room, I felt hands grabbing mine. I dared to look behind me and Adam was really there. No imagination, no illusion... just him.

"Let me go, sir." I firmly said, hoping he would just leave. But there was no answer. Silence. Both frozen in place.

I turned to face him, my eyes met his and I ask again: "Let my hand go...". He wouldn't move. No reaction. "Adam!" I finally snapped. He was making me anxious. I wasn't scared but I knew that if I stayed in this situation any longer, I'll doubt myself again.

"Don't" he managed to let out, in a whisper.

"Sir? What did you say?" I asked, trying to make sense of what he just said.

His hands were cold, his voice barely existing. Was it really Adam right in front of me?

I struggled to escape. His gripe was tighter than ever. He just wouldn't let go.

"Adam..." I said, calming myself a little.

"ARE YOU..." he yelled which made me jump. This man never had a middle ground. Never once he knew how to talk calmly. It is either all silent whispers or loud screams. He never knew how to communicate. Well... he never had to communicate. He was forced to follow his aunts' orders and if he failed, he would end up beaten up. No one ever asked him what he wanted.

I seriously want to sympathize with him, I want to tell him that he is safe and that I am here to listen. But I am tired of being mistreated over and over again. Being used for my kindness. Being neglected or punished for simple mistakes.

I don't feel human anymore.
If he was a monster than I was just trash.

Actually neither of us were humans.
We treated each other as if we were totally different species where he was a ruler, and I was nothing but a follower.

Trust me when I say I still want him but for how long should I wait...

"Sir I need you to let me go." I had to do it. I am sorry. But I had to give you up.

Silence ruled us both for a second...
Before he spoke.

"Please don't go..."

Even though it was quiet,
I understood what he said.
I heard him.
He has finally found his middle ground.

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🌸Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Reminder I am not trying to give a reason for his rotten behavior but I believe everyone has a story that needs to be heard. I am not trying to explain or defend his action. What he did is unforgivable but he you all deserve to know where he comes. Plus we never knew what happened to him after Joe and Cherry reunite 🌸
Don't forget that you can suggests ideas if you want to! 🍵