It's a promise

Chapter 38

Rylee's POV

I walked out of the hangar and straight to our room. My steps got slower when I walked past Nat's room. For a moment I wanted to knock but then I remembered that Nat wouldn't be there. When I closed the door behind me I just wanted to crawl into the bed before I saw something on it.

I knew I made it this morning and I would remember putting something on it, especially a letter. I grabbed it and I saw my name in Steve's handwriting on the envelope. My hands were shaking when I opened it.

Dear Rylee

I write you this letter in case I didn't come back. I hope you will never have to read it because I will throw it away as soon as I come back but if something goes wrong, I want you to know a few things.

I love you. Don't ever doubt that. If I'm not coming back, it's not because I didn't want to. Believe me when I say that I definitely did everything I could.

Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You made me the happiest I have ever been and I wouldn't change a thing on the journey we had. Maybe I would ask you sooner for a date but otherwise there's nothing I would change. I have been very lucky finding you.

I don't suppose there is any chance of anything happening to me, but just in case I want to tell you how very much I love you.

All my love, darling, always.

Your Steve

P.S. Don't forget me but don't stop living your life. I hope you will find happiness without me. That someday you will meet someone where you don't have to say goodbye to. I wished I could have been that person for you.

Tears streamed down my face while I was reading the letter. I didn't know Steve was afraid that something could go wrong. He was so confident all the time but maybe he thought he needed to do it as Captain America. He led the Avengers into this. He couldn't show doubts or fear.

I started to sob and I would have dropped to the floor when suddenly two strong arms hugged me from behind. I didn't hear the door so I stiffened before I turned around to fall into Steve's embrace. I let the letter fall down when I clawed my hands into the back of his shirt and he hugged me tighter. I needed to feel him and I didn't let go for a long time. It didn't seem like he wanted to let go either.

'I'm sorry' Steve looked down at me confused because he didn't know why I apologized. 'I'm sorry for just walking away but I couldn't stay there.' I felt selfish for just leaving everybody there. I didn't even know what happened.

'It's okay. You needed time. I didn't think you would come here. I would have given you some space'

'I don't want you to give me space, I just want you to hold me' and that is what he did. He held me tight and after what felt like hours we were sitting on the floor in each others arms, giving as much comfort as possible to each other. It wasn't just me who lost Nat. We both lost our best friend. All of us lost her.

'I really need a shower' Steve stood up and grabbed the letter which was lying next to us. 'You shouldn't see it.'

'Why did you write it then?' I stood up as well.

'I wanted you to have it in case I didn't come back but I'm here' I looked up at Steve. I recognized the khaki uniform which wasn't his and it didn't look like it had been from the last ten years. I saw the dirt on his face and also the bruise on his left cheekbone. I caressed his bruised face with my fingertips.

'It wasn't easy... obviously.' I tried a smile but I failed miserably. He opened his mouth but I stopped him. 'You can tell me after the shower'

He looked me deep in the eyes and I took the letter out of his hand to put it back in the envelope. I made a motion with my hand and Steve let out a sound between a snort and a laugh. But he did what I told him, he went into the shower while I read the letter again. He was the person for me. I knew that when I would have lost him that there wouldn't be somebody else. Eventually I put the letter away and walked to one of the empty rooms to wash my face in the bathroom.