It's a promise

Chapter 47

Steve's POV

I looked at Rylee and watched her reaction. I didn't know why but I knew that this was the time to make a decision. I told her how I felt, that I loved her and that I wanted to be with her. She had everything in her hands. If she wanted to be with me or not. If she still loved me or if she wanted to move on.

But after a few minutes I realized that there wouldn't come anything from her. She didn't say a thing and this was the moment I knew I lost her. I could understand her. She spent months without me and moved on but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. I slumped because I hoped that she would choose me, that she would give me a chance to show her how much I loved her and that I could maybe make her fall in love with me again. I was wrong.

I walked towards the door. Defeated because I knew that I wouldn't have what I wanted most. Her. The pain rolled towards me like a landslide. It came slowly and deliberately as if to buy me time to prepare for it. I should leave before I started to beg her.

I already reached the door when I felt her hand on my arm. I looked down at her small hand who was now stroking over my forearm until she reached my hand. She intertwined our fingers and I looked into her amber eyes.

'Don't go.'

Two words and they changed everything. She didn't want me to leave. She didn't say anything about how she was feeling towards me but that was okay. I could wait until she was ready. But I knew now that she wanted me in her life and that was enough.

I hesitated for a moment but I couldn't hold back. I made a step towards her, slowly so she could move back if she didn't feel comfortable but she stayed there, waiting for what I wanted to do. I pulled her closer into a hug. The first time that I held her and that I felt her close to me since I came back. She didn't move but then she wrapped her arms around me. I finally felt peace.

~

Rylee's POV

When he turned around to walk to the door, I couldn't let him go. I couldn't see him leave again. I knew I would regret it every day if I would let him walk out of this door and out of my life. I knew it would break me if he would leave again but it would hurt more if I didn't use this chance to spend every day with him.

I let myself fall into his embrace after I hesitated for a moment. I wasn't used to this anymore. How much I missed this. How much I missed him. I inhaled his scent but it was a mix between him and Bucky because he was wearing his clothes. I smiled but it faded and I felt the tears. I tried not to sob and just buried my face into his chest. He held me closer and I clamped my hands into the back of his shirt. I wished he would never stop holding me.

I felt how he moved us to the bed. He sat down with me in his arms and he was holding me like I was the most precious in his life. I didn't know how long we sat there. I stopped crying and I was just enjoying his arms holding me. After some time he got up. But he didn't want to leave, he was just laying down with me still in his arms.

My head lay on his chest like so many times before and I could hear his heart racing. I got up a bit to look into his eyes and he used his thumb to wipe away my tears. His hand cupped my cheek and I saw it in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me. But I didn't know if I was ready yet and I guessed that he saw the uncertainty in my eyes because he just kissed my forehead. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time.

'You need to rest. I should go into my room.' I didn't want him to leave and I saw he didn't want to leave either but he would just stay if I asked him to.

'You can stay... if you want' He smiled, nodded and then got up. I climbed under the sheets because I was already wearing an old shirt and shorts while I watched Steve undressing himself until he was just there in his underwear. Shit. I didn't think about that, he always slept in boxers or naked. I pulled the blanket even higher and when he turned off the light on the nightstand I turned around and wished him a good night. The day was exhausting but I needed some time to fall asleep.