It's a promise

Chapter 41

Rylee's POV

I didn't really sleep that night because my mind was all over the place. I just wanted to curl up in bed and cry and never get up again and the next moment I wanted to smash everything that reminded me of Steve which would be nearly the whole apartment. I didn't do either so I made plans for what I would do next.

I just grabbed my leather jacket out of the closet when I heard a knock at the bedroom door. I walked over to open it and I looked at Bucky. His eyes were slightly red so I assumed he didn't sleep well. I felt a little bad for how I reacted yesterday so I wrapped my arms around him, comforting him for a moment before I let go again.

'I'm sorry for how I reacted yesterday.'

'It was a shock for all of us. It's okay, doll.' I used to smile when he called me that pet name because he started with it just to tease Steve after realizing he was a bit jealous. Now it just reminded me that the reason he used it wasn't here anymore. I led us to the couch in the living room because I wanted to talk.

'No. It's not. I realized that you were as shocked as I was. You didn't know what he wanted to do. I just assumed even though he didn't say goodbye to me, he would say it to you. I thought you talked about it, you know, that he wanted to stay in the past.' I played with the hem of my over sized gray shirt.

'Why should he have talked with me about it but not with you?' Bucky looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He lost his best friend, his brother.

'Because he left me for another woman. Obviously I was just one out of many while he had just one Bucky.' I tried to smile but I failed miserably so I just kept talking. 'I should have known. My mother left, Clint left, Nat left and even though Steve promised me to stay, he left as well. It was foreseeable but I was blind.'

We were silent for a moment. 'I can't stay here. I'm going to Missouri, to Laura and Clint. Sam was a little snitch and called him. He'll pick me up at Pepper's house in a few hours. They have enough space so he can land the quinjet there and I want to say goodbye to Morgan as well.'

Bucky looked a little shocked that I was leaving so soon but I really couldn't stay here. That was the apartment of Steve and I, our home. But 'Us' didn't exist anymore. It was just 'I'. And I didn't want to stay where everything reminded me of 'Us'.

'How long do I have?' I looked at him confused. 'I mean... to pack my stuff.'

'You don't need to pack your stuff. The apartment is yours.' Now he was confused.

'Steve..' It hurt just to say his name. To be honest it hurt just to think about him. It hurt so fucking much. 'We talked about getting a house when everything would be over. Somewhere quieter, maybe outside the city nearby Pepper and Tony. You should have gotten this apartment if you wanted it anyways.'

When Steve and I moved in together, we looked for an apartment which was affordable for us. Tony surprised us the next Christmas that he bought the apartment and that it was ours. We were pretty mad at first but Tony didn't care and said that we should shut up and enjoy our apartment. Now it was Bucky's and I already talked with Tony about that. I got my keys out of my pocket and layd them on the table. I got up and got my bags out of the bedroom. When I walked back Bucky stared at me.

'You already packed?' I nodded. I had a lot of time that night so I went through everything in my closet that I wanted to keep and packed my bags. I got my stuff out of the bathrooms and some little things from the rest of the apartment like the mugs Cooper and Lila made for me or the pictures of Nat and I and my family. I didn't pack anything that would remind me of Steve. No drawing he made, no present he ever gave me, not even any pictures of us. I put most of it into a big box.