It's a promise

Chapter 10

Rylee's POV

I rushed out of the room and took the stairs but I didn't stop on the second floor. I made my way to the fourth one because there was a big balcony with a view over the woods. It was freezing cold but I needed fresh air to clear my mind and the view always calmed me. What the hell just happened? Nat and Steve? Nat and Steve! I never thought about them together. Now I couldn't stop thinking about them.

When did that happen? Like Tony assumed when they were one the run? Was it a one and done thing? Was it an affair? Did they have a relationship back then? Were they still together after the blip? Did they still have an affair? Were they friends with benefits?

My mind was racing back and forth and I remembered the day when I met Nat in Manhattan. She was at Steve's place before. I never asked her why she was there. Did they have sex before we met? Did I interrupt a date? Did I interrupt a booty call?

At the hospital I was checking him out and Nat saw it. Why didn't she tell me then that he is off the market? Was he off the market? Was it over at all?  They were together that day again. I was pretty sure that she didn't have any feelings for Steve. Why should Nat push us towards each other, when she had feelings for him? At least she didn't have any anymore. Maybe they were some in the past. Whenever that past happened. I replayed every talk with Nat and she never mentioned anything. She pushed me into his arms. She hung up mistletoes all over the compound so that we would kiss. She wouldn't do that if she was in love.

Did Steve still have feelings towards Nat? If he had feelings for her it would be hard for him to see her. Was that the reason he didn't live in the compound for the last year? Was the reason he moved out of the compound because they broke up? Did they ever break up? Was there still something between them? Why would he kiss me when they still had something going on?

Now my mind went totally crazy. Was he really interested in me? I thought about the kiss in the woods and I was pretty sure that he had an interest in me or at least in my body. Did he want to use me to get over her? Was I a replacement or a possibility to get over her? Was he using me to make Nat jealous? I shook my head about the last thought because I couldn't imagine Steve using somebody like that. But who am I to judge, I didn't even think that there was anything between him and Nat ever.

My head hurts. Why did they keep it secret?

I needed answers but I didn't want them at the same time.

I heard the door open behind me. I didn't know who I wanted it to be but a little part hoped it was Steve. I wanted him to tell me that there was never something between him and Nat and it was a misunderstanding. But I remembered his face at the dinner table. The regret in his eyes and the same look on Nat's face. What did they regret? That I found out like that or that I found out at all.

I turned around and I saw Pepper. I felt disappointment and relief at the same time. Disappointment because it wasn't Steve and relief that it wasn't him either. Not just my head, also my feelings were all over the place.

'You must be freezing. I brought you a jacket.' Pepper handed me a big jacket and I immediately put it on. I didn't recognize how cold it was until now.

'How did you find me?'

'I asked Friday.' Of course. Sometimes I forgot the AI. Pepper joined me at the railing and we just looked over the woods. After a few moments of silence she started to talk.

'I am sorry for Tony's behavior.'

'You cannot apologize for somebody else and to be honest I am not mad at him. He just drank too much eggnog. I was at his place a few years ago when Nat made it to one of the Barton Christmas parties. I underestimated it like Tony did and drank a little too much. I don't even remember what happened after my third glass but I woke up on the floor in Lila's room the next morning in my prom dress from high school.' Pepper laughed and I couldn't stop myself from laughing with her.