It's a promise

Chapter 45

Steve's POV

I looked over at Rylee while she was doing something in the kitchen, making herself a Coffee I guess. I couldn't look away and I couldn't believe that I had a son. It was all I ever wanted with her, a family. But the problem was that even though this wish came true and we were parents, had a kid and lived in the same house at the moment, that we weren't really together. Was that the price I paid?

I watched her while she was pouring some syrup in her coffee. Charlie was still strapped to her chest after she walked over to the library where she worked before I came here. I didn't even know who she was anymore. She still looked the same except for the shorter hair. But she wasn't my Rylee anymore and that was hard to accept.

I kept my distance because every time I came close she froze and I realized she didn't feel comfortable around me. We didn't talk a lot about the last months. She told me a bit about the pregnancy and the last weeks when Charlie was born but nothing personal. Nothing about how she felt in all those months so I kept my feelings hidden as well.

It was hard seeing her every day, having everything I wanted right in front of me but I couldn't have it. I thought about the ring I bought, the future I imagined and it was unreachable. I missed her even though she was here. I thought it was hard after I came back from the ice into a time that wasn't mine but this was so much harder. I lost her and every day I would be reminded of this fact.

Or I could make her fall in love with me again.

~

Rylee's POV

I looked down at Charlie and smiled. He was strapped in his baby wrap. I drank a coffee after I came back from my work place at the library. I told them that I would quit because I needed more time for the baby and would leave the city to visit family, which wasn't a lie. It was never my dream job but I was just finding out who I was without being an agent and with a baby. Being a librarian wasn't my dream and it wouldn't make me happy.

Steve and I would be picked up tomorrow morning to get to the new compound. It was totally finished and Tony also wanted to make a party for the Independence Day which was also Steve's birthday. Everybody would come so it was a great opportunity to introduce Charlie to them.

I was also glad to get out of this house because it was hard with Steve around. We barely talked and when we talked it was mostly about Charlie. He slept on the couch and he didn't even try to come close to me. I knew that he wanted to but I couldn't. He would always be a part of my life, he would always be Charlie's father but he wouldn't be mine anymore.

I felt Steve's gaze on me but I didn't look his way. Why was it so hard? I knew we needed to talk, especially how we wanted to do it from now on. I couldn't live here with him anymore, because it was painful. Maybe when we were in New York we could talk. I didn't know if he wanted to stay here in Ohio, then he needed an apartment or if he wanted to move back to New York, then we needed to talk about visiting and holidays.

I didn't know what I wanted especially when it came to where I wanted to go. It was a thought about going back to New York. It was where I grew up and also where Steve grew up. But I didn't know if this would be possible because Steve was officially dead. This house here was just an escape so I wouldn't mind moving again. Maybe to Missouri close to Clint and Laura. The kids would love that. But Charlie and I weren't alone anymore. Every decision I would make, I would talk with Steve as the father.

All these thoughts were running through my mind until I went to bed. And even then they followed me in my dreams. It was again Steve who left and he took Charlie with him. I woke up in the middle of the night and for a moment I was confused. Charlie didn't cry. I looked at my phone for the time and Charlie should have cried a couple hours ago.