Book:
Sweet Sugar Fate
Author:
@vanaconda
Chapters read: 1 (the whole short story)
Title: Has the title been inverted? Like, Sweet Sugar Fate instead of Sugar Sweet Fate? Because that adds an extra flair. I like it. I like any attempt at uniqueness.
Cover: Cute. Judging by the consistency in theme and color, I'll guess you made it yourself, or had someone do it for you. In that case, tell me what app was used. In any other case, it looks great.
Blurb: It encompasses the message and theme of the story in a few short sentences. Doesn't stretch out or bore.
First Impression: Loved the cover, cute blurb, let's go!
•••
Plot: There isn't much space for an extensive plot with short stories. An outline would suffice. What matters most is the theme; the message you want to tell.
You execute this in a cute way with a dash of suspense, which I love.
Writing technique: Imaginative. I wonder
Grammar: A thousand words. Each single word and paragraph must count. Yet I spot a handful of redundancies (ex: she diverted her gaze [away from Jules] ), fancy words (enigma, encapsulated), adverbs (carefully, nervously), and passive voice (she was staring).
I won't go into detail on why these points are hidden hurdles to your writing. This is a review book, after all. I am, however, writing a guide on how to write a story. You can find the first book of three (almost complete) on my profile. The next two...oh Lord, I really should get around to writing them.
Anyways, an alternate option is to check out the best-selling author Jerry Jenkins. He has tons of straightforward, amazing writer-related content on his site. There's this really handy self-editing checklist I must have memorized by now.
Use that magic on Sweet Sugar Fate and I will go to mars. Or an arcade.
What to improve:
- Replace fancy words with everyday words.
- Remove adverbs, replace them with strong verbs or rephrase the sentence.
- Remove redundancies.
- Read it aloud. Reconstruct rocky sentences.
- Check out Jerry Jenkins' site (and my book writing guide while you're at it, perhaps).
Final Impression: Short, sweet as sugar, and fate that I read it.
Rating: Welcome to the winners arcade.
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Free Book Reviews - 2023
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