Free Book Reviews - 2023

6 • Accidental Housemate

Book:
Accidental Housemate

Author:
@annabellacx

Genre: New Adult

Chapters read: 5

Title: It gets right to the point. Perrie (the protagonist), discovers she has a housemate, and it is an accident. The title poses a question: how is this accidental?

But I have a proposition. How about the title Accidental Housemates"? (In plural). Even though the story is in only one point of view, having a housemate is as much of an accident for Dave as it is for Perrie. So, Accidental Housemates? Yours to decide!

Cover: Simple, minimal, and the model actually fits for a change. I've come across some covers where the face or eyes are partially or fully cut off (sounds morbid but bear with me).

It's a bit unorthodox, as the face and especially eyes are the focal point of the cover, but I rather like it. This way the reader has a chance to conjure their own image of how the main character(s) look.

I have one question. What is she holding? A hat? Could be a basket or a pot lid for all I can see.

Blurb: The part that gets me is the secrets Perrie is hiding. Also, the overall situation of an accidental housemate is bound to bring a plethora of akward and novel situations.

First Impression: What I'm dying to find out is the main characters' reactions when they realize they've been fooled into buying the same house.

(Can we just take a quick moment to appreciate that clown emoji in the Introduction?)

•••

Inciting Incident: obviously this is when Perrie discovers she has an unwanted housemate. This situation isn't one we would normally find ourselves in, yet the emotions run high and are extremely relatable.

It's like you've finally won a chance to start over, but that chance has disadvantages. You'd feel like the world has turned against you.

Also, the thought of a burglar borrowing your bathroom for a quick shower before he departs with his loot made me burst out laughing.

General plot: Dave is nice. Almost too nice. This cancels potential conflict between two characters with proud, stubborn personalities. (Although it's good to have opposite personalities for the main characters, so I commend you for that.)

So the foreseeable conflict lies in Perrie's backstory. I'm sure when her true identity is revealed, there will be a twist in the plot, or a change in Dave's attitude towards Perrie.

Main Character: Perrie is definitely an interesting character. Her personality is stubborn and prideful, yet with a delicate, shy edge. I wonder what part is stronger, and why she is this way.

Other characters:
Dave. Again, he seems almost too nice. He's the right person you need in this situation. Although I'm sure he's got some skeletons in the closet. A fatal flaw that's going to crop up and cause more obstacles in the future.

Writing Technique: It's obvious you've figured out a style that works for you. Description is minimal but strong. The voice is distinct.

Grammar: I spot a lot of reflexive verbs, which are redundant even if you arent writing in a deep POV. It adds dead weight. Example:

Cluttered: I saw the bag and decided to take it.

Smooth: I took the bag.

Speaking of which...

"His feet wore cheap slippers."

I take a moment to compose myself. This strikes a vivid image of two, detached feet slotted in slippers. Specifically, two small clay feet models I have on my desk.

In this sentence, feet may be excluded, because where else would you wear slippers? Removing these redundancies makes a sentence stronger and smoother.

What to improve:
- Replace this adverbs with strong verbs. If that doesn't work, restructure the sentence or add more detail.

- Remove redundancies. (He wore cheap slippers is good. We know it's on his feet.)

-This is not something you should improve, but keep up with: cliffhangers!

Final Impression: I'm curious to find out how much longer Perrie can keep her true identity hidden. She can only avoid it for so long-or keep the lies piling up. This is way, the revelation would be more all the more shocking.