16 - A Whole New World

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Book: A Whole New World

Author: 

Genre: Teen Fiction, Romance

Chapters read: 2 (+prologue)

Title

 The one thing that comes to mind is the Disney song... BUT, it cuts straight to the chase. Obviously this story is going to take place in "a whole new world". Cool.

Cover

 Simple and cute. The Purple stands out, and I like the characters look like paper cut-outs. The polka dots should fill the entire background at a lower opacity and not outline around the people and the title, which is sort of clumsy since the objects are of different proportions.

Blurb

 A tad on the lengthy side. I'm sure those paragraphs could be shortened to give a more direct, powerful impact. However, I'm all for the chatty, personalized vibe. I love the idea, too. 

First Impression

Eager to see how you take control of a cliche situation and make it a personal and unique thing!

Begninning

The prologue starts of smoothly and ends in the same way (refrence to the disney song, awesome). Prologues tend to be a hassle to get over in order to actually start the story, but yours feels natural. The inciting incident occurs when Zee 1 is hit by a bus and transforms into Zee 2. I definately anticipated something like this. It makes sense for this to happen, which we don't want. We want to keep readers guessing and anticipating. As long as this doesn't tie too strongly into the plot ifself, I might suggest altering the inciting incident slightly. 

General plot

 The first chapter starts off interesting. Now Zee is in a different body. Seeing as though this can never happen in real life, it's interesting to see how you can make this seem realistic, for example, going out to buy icecream since she couldn't in her 'real life'. I did find the chapter a bit lengthy, although it ends nicely with an introduction to Nick. Zee acts on course; she goes to sleep thinking it's all a dream, and she'll wake up back in her origional life.

 In the next chapter, I'm surprised to find out there's a POV change. Now we're in Nick's shoes, finding out what he thought in the same scene in th previous chapter. I do find it odd that the two haven't even seen eachother properly over the past few years. Is it too spontaneous for Nick to wish "never to see Zee again"? According to the blurb, I think there's a reason.

Writing Technique

🔷From the first lines in the begining, I get where we're going with the voice. Internalized, stream-of-consiousness. Personally I like to write this way as well, as it gives the readers a chance to feel more attached to the protagonist. There is a slightly sarcastic twist, which I do love. However, this style does tend to tell rather than show.

What to Improve

🔶 Refine your sentences. Add more details and description. This will take your story to the next level! I suggest doing this in the se

🔶 Dive deeper into Zee personality. As relatable as she is, we still need another layer of deepth.

🔶 Avoid -- in fact, don't -- use passive voice.

Final Impression

 Honestly I don't have much to say about this but I'm invested! This is a new twist to an old idea, who can resist? This is one book I'd like to read in the future! I'm now curious to see how it ends. Will Zee return back to her normal life, or stay in this one?

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