Free Book Reviews - 2023

2 • The Perfect Crime

Book:
The Perfect Crime

Author:
@SherryRS

Chapters read: 4

Title: Catchy, but rather cliché. There are hundreds of books with this title (or renditions of it) on Wattpad alone. What you must do to make your title stand out, especially in this genre where there's a ton of room for clichés, is to hone in on what sets your story apart. Craft a title around that. An easy way around it is to use words that aren't often used.

Cover: Again, in the field of murder and mystery, a person in a hood, knifes, blood and the color red is what we'd all go for, right? It symbolizes the genre in itself. But that's the point. When everybody does the same thing, it looses it's spark.

Just like the title, the best purpose a cover can serve is to make a potential reader look again.

The blurb already tells us there's going to be a murderer. There's definitely going to be blood. You may tick those off the list.

Now delve into the details of your plot. Is there a particular object, place, or person that has great significance? Is it unusual?

Now for the technical part.

Red, with specific fonts such as the author name at the top, tends to vanish into the black. The opposite however, black on red, works wonders. Going with the former, if the black is dark grey instead, the red will stand out better.

The two knifes angled behind the title is obstructive. Also, considering the hooded person has their hands folded over the top of an object, a pair on knifes inches beneath is questionable.

If you want to put an object on the cover, make sure it holds significance—and even better, is unusual.

Blurb: Love it! The sentence you introduce us to first is fire. It's holds so much weight, with that sentence alone, I would add that book to my library. The blurb itself is short, to the point and sweet. The question at the end is big enough to stretch for the whole story, and is legitimate in a phycological way. We can all relate to it when hardships come our way:

Will I be able to see the end of this?

First Impression: You have my interest. Let's get reading!

•••

Inciting Incident: Naturally, this is when the murder victim is discovered. That it happens in the second chapter pleases me beyond words. I can't say how frustrating it is when your focus shifts from the actually story to looking for when the fun begins.

General plot: The introduction is rushed to get to the meat of the plot. The murders that occur are handled far too lightly. The case could be considered a serial killer on the loose. That one lead they have, Henry the scientist, should be taken in for questioning right away, or at least after the police department learn he is connected to all the murders.

And I'm pretty sure throwing human parts into a fire pit isn't a legal way of disposal. It sounds morbid. Imagine the stench of rotten, burning flesh filling your lab.

James should've wanted to puke his guts out the second he stepped into that lab. Unless he's in on the murders too. Doubt it.

Main Character: Jason's personality traits are stated so clear it amuses me. Everything is laid out bare for the reader to see.

Other characters: Dr. Ethan is mysterious, to begin with. I immediately suspect him. There's definitely some back story here to look forward to.

Writing Technique: As you mentioned in the first chapter, English is not your first language. In terms of style, I believe it works in your favour. Sentences are shorter and to the point. No flowery paragraphs of description.

But then there's too little description. The art of balancing showing and telling can be tricky if you write in a straightforward manner. The significance of certain situations is lost on me.

At times, the setting isn't established quickly enough. Especially between transitions between scenes.

There also isn't enough action breaking up the dialogue. This can result in a boring page of two heads talking back and forth. Show them doing something whiles they talk, even if it's just fiddling their thumbs or staring at the ceiling.

Moving on... Cliffhangers! You have a way with these, my friend. I like to encourage people to create a cliffhanger at the end of (almost) each chapter, and you did just that. 

Grammar: I don't know whatever your first language is, but I'm guessing it has a similar structure to English. Either that, or you've read so many murder mysteries the vocabulary is engrained in you.
In any case, your grammar isn't bad. With a couple tips and tricks, you'll be well on your way to perfection.

What to improve:
- Mix action into the dialogue.
- Establish setting quickly (especially when starting a new scene).
- Juice up your description.
- Check out some grammer guides.

Final Impression: Chapters are short and to the point. The plot develops right from the start. I'm curious to see how events will unfold in the future, considering the blurb is fulfilled.

Rating:
It's a pass. Just cut down the exclamation points :)