Over my dead body ~James Barnes~

Part 41

I've been standing in the shower for an hour already, I'm not even standing anymore, I'm sitting in the bathtub while I let the water fall on my head.

I feel so........ I don't know how to call it.

My little, mall heart can absolutely not take this. Losing him like this, losing Casy soon. I think I have a free pass to say that I fucking hate my life.

I step out of the shower, and I grab a shirt, sweatpants and some fluffy puffy slippers. While I walk over to the room where the bed and everything is, I'm drying my hair with a towel, and I look outside the window through the blinds.

There he is. Dylan. Standing on the other side of the road, of the motel. I let out a yell and I duck, leaning with my back against the wall.

"No no no, please no." I whisper while I shut my eyes.

"Be gone, please please."

I open my eyes slowly and I crawl back up, placing my hands on the windowsill while I pull myself up very slowly.

Still there, staring at me. I just look at him without blinking, I can see him but not very clearly. I can see him leaning against the lamppost with a cigar- cigarette? Can ghosts do that? Smoke? Or maybe because he smoked a lot when he was alive and the last time I saw him he was smoking. I see him like I saw him the last time two years ago.

He throws the cigarette on the ground, and he crushes is with his feet. He walks away without looking at me and he's gone again.

I can't stay in this room alone, he's gonna haunt me in my sleep. I need James. I need James in situations like this and I want him to hold me, cuddle with me and kiss me. Telling me that I'm
Not crazy, telling me he didn't kill Dylan and that he's alive.

I need a hug, I really, really need a hug.

I open the door slowly and I stick my head out, just my head. I look to the left and to the right four times to make sure he's not there.

I open the door wider, and I run, I run to the house where the owner lives just behind the motel. Maybe not appropriate and very weird but I'm so scared and I have no one. I feel like I'm getting crazy.

I run on my slippers on the stairs up to the small house and I knock on the door. While I'm knocking and waiting, I look behind me, next to me, under me I don't know, just everywhere.

The door opens and the sweet lady stands in front of me, and she gives me a concerned look.

"Honey are you okay?" She says and I start crying. I bring my hands to my face, and I shake my head.

"No, I'm not, I'm not okay." I cry and she steps closer to give me a hug.

A stranger, I'm crying in the arms of a stranger without shame. She doesn't know me, I don't know her, but this feels nice. Feels really really nice.

"Come in." She says and I step into her home. Really cute and cozy. It smells really good, and I feel very warm and calm as I step into the living room.

"Hungry?" She says as she walks over to the kitchen. "I made some pasta." She comes out with two plates, and she points at the table next to me.

"I'm Rosy by the way."

"Candace."

After we ate, which was like 5 minutes because I was starving, we sit on the couch, and I play with the side of my shirt while I sit cross-legged on the couch.

"I am sorry for interrupting your night." I finally say quiet, and she gives me a sweet smile as she pats on my leg.

"Sweetie I don't mind; you're a guest and you look like you could use some company." She says while grabbing some tea.