Champagne Problems (Ransom Drysdale)

Chapter 5 - Wedding Prep

It was like they were both naughty school kids summoned to the headmasters office for a talking down. As soon as Ransom sat down in the chair aptly placed next to Effie's, she picked hers up and moved it a couple of paces away from him, setting it down as Harlan eyed their childish squabble beginning to bubble. "Happy?" he asked.

"Is that trick question?" Ransom sat back in his own chair, with a pack of Biscoff biscuits to hand which would hopefully make this shit show a whole lot more bearable. "Can we just get this over and done with, I have places to be. People to see..."

Effie snorted. "Wow, you have friends?"

He turned quickly and shot her a look of daggers. "If you don't shut your god damn mouth..."

"ENOUGH." Harlan's firm instruction made them shut up and settle back down into silence. "This will take as long as it needs to. Are we clear?"

"Crystal." Effie's sarcasm rang through once more, however Harlan ignored this. He'd dealt with far worse from his grandson over the years. The two of them together were an easy case to overcome.

Clearing his throat he looked from one to the other. "Now...I've been in discussion with both of your parents as to when this should take place. They seem to think the sooner the better, and so do I."

Ransom huffed. "Of course you'd think that you just want us out from under your feet as soon as possible."

Once again Harlan ignored the comment and carried on. "Six weeks from now..."

"SIX!" Both Effie and Ransom sat bolt upright at the same time.

"Six." Harlan confirmed, taking satisfaction in the fact that he'd got their attention. "Plenty of time."

"Plenty of time my arse." Effie muttered, "So say we agree to getting married in six weeks, do we get a say in the place? What to wear?" already she had plans to arrive in a coffin on a hearse and just pull a whole funeral out of the bag rather than a wedding. It would be more entertaining to say the least.

Harlan pushed some brochures towards them, and both leant forward to study them. "These are the ones that have availability – now I trust you're both adult enough to agree with one another on this?"

Effie and Ransom looked at one another and then back at the brochures. Either way it didn't matter. The three that were in front of them looked up to the usual Thrombey/ Rattenberry standards. "Whatever, we don't care." The latter now pushed them back at Harlan.

"As you wish...That can be a job for Linda and Helen."

"Oh goodie." Effie sank further into her chair. No doubt her mother would be yapping on about nothing else for the next six weeks.

Harlan carried on. "Right...let's move onto the finer details."

"Just like crafting another bestselling novel." Ransom pointed out mockingly. "You're enjoying every minute of this."

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't." Harlan told them calmly.

That was the last straw and Ransom stood up. "I'm outta here."

"Sit down NOW." Harlan ordered but Ransom had had enough.

"Y'know what? Just give me the time and the place ok? I don't give a damn about whatever you plan or have planned." And snatching his jacket from the table he left the room in true Ransom fashion.

Effie looked at Harlan. "Now I'm gonna regret saying this, but he's got the right idea. Screw the details, just give us the time and place and that's it." She was so over this already.