Champagne Problems (Ransom Drysdale)

Chapter 29 - CSI: KFC

The Beamer pulled up outside of the Thrombey Mansion, Ransom getting out and shaking the dogs from him as they ran up and nipped at his legs.

Walking towards the house, he saw two unfamiliar men on the porch. Great. The cops were still here. "Hugh Drysdale?" one of them asked as he approached.

"Call me Ransom, it's my middle name - only the help call me Hugh." He corrected them. They could at least get it right. Jogging up the steps he turned back as one of them introduced themselves.

"I'm Lieutenant Elliott, this is officer Wagner, we'd like to ask you a few questions."

Ransom looked from one to the other with an inaudible 'huh' before simply walking straight inside and to the kitchen. A show needed snacks after all. "Excuse me! Sir! We're officers of the law!" Wagner called after him as they followed.

"You gonna run me in, I don't feel like talking – I'm distraught." He couldn't have sounded any far from it, but found the pair waiting for him as he came back out with a packet of biscuits -now seeing the Blanc detective guy and Marta joining them.

"Alright what is this? What's this arrangement?"

"Mr Drysdale" Blanc now began

Ransom looked at him, "CSI KFC?" and popped a biscuit into his mouth, walking through to where the rest of the family had gathered.

Asshole mode was indeed activated. Fran looking outraged as he asked her to get him a glass of cold milk. It was fine though, after their little appointment she wouldn't have to worry about that anymore.

He was only just getting started, as it came to light to all that he'd been cut from the will. Walt was relishing in his misfortune, but it wouldn't last long. Joni? Well she should never have been included in the first place with her 'flam' or whatever her crappy company was. Now here she was telling him that nothing good was ever easy? Of course his parents thought this was the best thing that could've happened to him, clearly forgetting that their granddaughter would also be affected.

So it was simple. He told them all to eat shit.

Finally it was time and he seated himself next to the chess set, ready to watch the family crumble before his eyes. It was just too exciting as it was now announced that everything was to be left to Marta.

Ransom laughed and got up, laughing loudly as he walked out. It had been everything he'd hoped for and more, the family arguing over one another, voices raised and now throwing accusations at Marta. He quickly found the clock and unlocked it, seeing a piece of paper and looking at it. Effie had been right; the actual toxicology report was in there with Fran's joint stash. Closing the clock's compartment he shoved the paper into his coat pocket and hurried out to the Beamer, watching the chaos unfold.

Time for the next part of the plan. He started the car and stopped beside Marta's (that surprisingly wouldn't start) beckoning her to get in. He turned and rolled down the window yelling that this could be the best thing that could happen to all of them as they sped away.

There was silence for a while as Marta sat back and exhaled. He glanced across to her. "Ok seriously what the hell?"

Effie opened the door to see two cops standing there. "Officers?" She frowned as her eyes went from one to the other. "Is everything ok?"

"Mrs Drysdale?"

"That's me."

"I'm Lieutenant Elliott and this is Trooper Wagner, we'd like to ask you a few questions if that's ok?"