Champagne Problems (Ransom Drysdale)

Chapter 9 - Cocktails and Bad Company

Ransom was currently stood having what seemed like a staring contest between him and a random old woman (who was probably older than his mother) right in the middle of the kitchen early one morning. She just stared blankly at him as he frowned and wondered whether she'd just wandered in and got lost.

"EFFIE!" he finally yelled back in the direction of the stairs, all the while keeping an eye on the petite woman. For all he knew she could pull a knife on him or something.

"Ah! Paola, I see you've met my husband." Effie appeared in the kitchen next to the woman who still stared at him. "Hugh, this is Paola - our new housekeeper." 

Oh for crying out loud...

"Mr Huge..." Paola finally spoke with an accent. Portuguese? Probably, either way it as clear that this woman probably didn't understand English well. Still she stared, probably judging him internally.

"No, no it's Hugh, HUGH." He stated clearly to her.

"Ah!" her face lit up as she quickly nodded in understanding. "Huge."

Effie was trying to conceal her laughter as once more Ransom repeated 'Hugh' only for Paola to simply keeping calling him 'Huge'. This was worse than having to get through to Nana, and now he was literally yelling his name to correct this woman who couldn't seem to get it into her head.

"Oh my...No, no – Mr Huge will be fine! In fact, I think he'd prefer you calling him that - that's sticking!" Effie noted to him with an evil look while Paola seemed pleased with herself for apparently getting his name right at last.

Ransom rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"

"Well since you decided to get Stella into bed I figured an older model was needed, and Paola is a very efficient worker. I've seen her references."

"Model?" He shook his head. "Is she even legal!"

Effie looked at him as though he was some kind of moron. "Err, I think at her age she definitely is?"

His eyes narrowed, "I meant to work you idiot."

"Oh! Oh yes, all legal and correct." Effie declared and clapped her hands together. "Anyway, I'm going to go show Paola where to start first, and then I'm  going to be getting ready to go meet my girlfriends for some lunch."

"You have friends?" He threw her a look. He knew she did. They had been at the wedding and he'd made no attempt to associate himself with them. 

She looked at him smugly. "As a matter of fact I do, and probably more than you. Come along Paola..." she gestured for the woman to follow. Ransom watched her; the new housekeeper looked like she could keel over at any moment. Geez even Nana could move quicker than her. He just hoped that she was as efficient as Effie had said she was, otherwise, they'd be on their third housekeeper in just three weeks.

Paola seemed to know how a coffee machine worked, as she brought him a cup without even being asked to an hour or so later. Effie hadn't left yet, and was probably still washing her hair or whatever it was girls did to get ready.

"More coffee Mr Huge?" Paola returned with a full pot

This was never going away. This woman was going to be calling him this for the rest of her days, however little she had left. "Err, no thanks Paola..." he told her as she stood there expectedly. Did she have a hearing troubles? In the end he sighed. "Ok yeah sure, another would be good." And almost immediately Paola refilled his cup.

Hearing the sound of heels, he looked up as Effie crossed the doorway. "You're going out dressed like that?" he asked on seeing her attire. It didn't exactly leave much to the imagination, especially around her chest area.