Champagne Problems (Ransom Drysdale)

Chapter 16 - The Thrombey Thanksgiving (Pt 2)

The clincher had come right as they were halfway through the meal with Linda and Richard announcing that if the two married brats wanted a dime, they had to produce a grandchild first. Of course this set everyone off, Walt telling his sister that she was absolutely right – all while throwing a satisfied smirk in Ransom and Effie's direction.

"WHAT!" Effie slammed down her knife and fork whilst Ransom choked on his drink. Had Harlan known about this? Was it his idea? Judging by the look on his face he knew nothing about this new development, but it was clear that Linda and Richard wanted to raise the stakes further with their son and daughter in law to put them in their places.

Or it was the simple ploy to drive a wedge between them. One thing was for certain, no way was this happening.

"That wasn't what we agreed." Ransom added, his blood boiling.

"It secures the family and our ancestral bloodline, doesn't it Richard?" Linda looked to him, and Richard nodded. In conversations such as these, or any as a matter of fact, his wife would always be the one to lead.

"Linda..." Harlan now warned, seeing that a big eruption of words were about to explode from his grandson. "Save the conversation for another time."

Effie now sipped her wine. "They're just uptight because Richard caught me swallowing his potential grandchildren earlier."

"Oh my god..." Walt muttered as everyone else looked either horrified or disgusted.

She shrugged. "What? We're married aren't we? It's what we do? Besides, it keeps us amused while attending dreary family gatherings."

Ransom leant in. "Not making things any better Eff."

She ignored him. "If you want these grandchildren, then you're going to have to sedate me and inseminate me first, because I refuse to be forced into having a child!" the look she gave Linda was icy.

"We'd rather get divorced if anything." Ransom sat back and crossed his arms. Not that it would solve anything now.

Linda calmly put her drink and stared at them. "Then you can both be out on the street for all we care, right dad?" looking to Harlan for some back up.

"Linda..." Harlan warned once more. Tensions were mounting. "Now is not the time nor the place..."

"Oh of course it is! The whole point of this being arranged was so they learn responsibility, and what better way than taking the next step?" Linda said and looked from Harlan to Effie and her son "You don't like it? Then you'd better find some money for a decent divorce attorney because you won't see a penny from us again." At one point she'd been dreading any kind of offspring being produced from these two, but now it seemed like the right way to go considering they would be against it. And they were. Linda's work was done.

They both stood up at that point, clearly thinking the same thing. "Let's go." Ransom said as his wife agreed.

It was official. Linda had gone insane in Effie's view, not that she wasn't before. But asking this? Just to make them 'grow up'? It was utter madness.

Harlan let out a long and loud sigh and got up, following the pair as they went to grab their coats. Ransom turned to him while Effie was already out the door, wanting to get away from this place as soon as possible.

"RANSOM!" she yelled furiously.

Ransom looked at the open front door and then at his grandfather. "You can arrange to marry us off together, but you can't 'arrange' a family. We draw the line at that, and you can tell Mom about what dad's been doing too, I'm sure she'd love to know about that."

"Tell her about what?"

"He's having an affair with a woman half his age, you don't believe me? Then I suggest you hire a private investigator to look into it." Time to turn the tables. 

Harlan remained his usual calm self, "Ransom..."

"We're not characters in one of your damn books that you can just screw around with, you want us to be responsible. Well this is us being just that! We're not ready for a kid! I don't know if I'll ever be ready!"

A small smile crossed Harlan's lips and he nodded. "And you are quite right...let me deal with your mother once she's cooled off. You know how she gets. Come back tomorrow afternoon once everyone's gone home. We'll have a round of Go and talk about all this, can you manage that?"

"RANSOM IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ARSE OUT HERE NOW THEN I'M LEAVING WITHOUT YOU!" Effie yelled impatiently from the driveway.

"I'm coming! Geez calm the hell down!"

"How can I!"

Ransom sighed and turned back to Harlan. "Sure, whatever..." right now he just wanted out.

"Good...now go home, calm down. No use getting all uptight about something that isn't worth the bother."

With a swift exit, Harlan watched as the Beamer took off down the driveway leaving a cloud of dust in its wake.