Sleeping with a lie

(10)

The knife blade shined in the sunlight. I twisted the grip slightly to the right. Seeing my reflection- I'm a betrayer  yet, Theo loves me. Arms wrap around my waist from behind.

"What's the knife for?"

"I'm not in the mood, Theo." I say. "Go away."

"Clara called me today. Ansel and you had a fight."

"No, no, ANSEL IS THE ONE WHO WANTED TO BREAK UP, SO WE DID!" I yell. "I wish sometimes I didn't have to..." I don't finish my sentence.

He didn't respond.

Snagging from his grip, I put the knife down on the counter. Jogging to the guest bedroom, I strip from my clothes, and run the bath tub water.

After my bath was filled, I dropped in a red bath bomb. Laying in the hot water, I sink my head in.

Maybe if I could relive the pressure... the pressure of not thinking, having all of his stress put down in me. It's too much. Water floods my ear lobes, when all I can hear is the liquid rippling back and forth.

Before I held my breath, Theo's hands dived in the water gently. He shook me intensively.

"Shai," He says softly. "Shai, stop it."

Light passed over my eyes like a beam. Dots and what seems like fireworks blurred my sight.

"Shai..." He kept calling my name. Suddenly, I fluttered my eyes to the point where I couldn't no more. "Wake up!"

_________
Ambulance medical attention flooded the apartment. Theo wrapped me in a towel.

"Check her breathing," A woman says. "C'mon Shailene."

Theo stood with a blank look on his face. Was he trying to hold it in?

Paramedics rolled me down to the truck. A huge oxygen mask covered my face, Theo stared right in my eyes. Knowing that he was there... it made me feel good.

"Did she seem suicidal at any time?" She asked Theo.

"Earlier-" he paused. "No. Not at all."

 

Transported to the hospital, I went into shocks and seizures multiple times. Meanwhile, Theo held onto my hand. Flashbacks of Belle's eyes and her soft cheeks scrolled through my memory.

She's so beautiful..

"Belle Kayleigh Elgort." I mumbled.

"Hey, Shai." Theo says. "Stay with me."

My response was a twitch, turning into foam oozing out my mouth. Theo held my neck, and the paramedics stabilized me.

Arriving at the hospital, I was rushed down to the E.R.

I don't want to remember anything after that.