Sleeping with a lie

(48)

London

I grasped onto Belle's hand tightly. Oliver and Carson Rae were too young to come up to the 'ICU' of the hospital. I'm surprised they let Belle up.

"Look," I motion to Shailene.

She was under wires and a oxygen machine. Her hair was shorter than usual, and her skin was pale. She was dying.

"Shai?" I sit next to her. "Shai can you hear me?"

Dr. West enters the room. "She can hear you, she's just in a coma."

"What?!" Tears were burning my eyes. "So I might not be able to hear her voice again.."

"Last night she was going into shock. Her heart stopped. And She slipped into this coma. Been asleep ever since."

"What do we do now?" My voice was cracking on nearly every word.

"She never signed the form."

"Is there another way?!" I say louder. "Can't I sign it?"

"No, the patient has to give consent."

"So I just let her die. I can't do that."

"Death for her will be pretty slow. It'll take another week or so."

"I'm not letting her die."

Belle took my hand. "Yeah."

"How many months?" I ask.

"At this rate, she has days." Dr. West was getting emotional also. "I know how it feels to lose someone
like this."

"You had someone who was amazingly beautiful and talented as her? Huh? You had a relationship with a person who connected with you so well that you made heartbreak feel like mini-breakups that could be easily fixed? No, you didn't. Shailene Is special." I yell. "You're leaving us, babe. I don't know if I can do this."

Loud beeping came from her heart monitor. Her body was rapidly moving up and down.

"MAMA!" Belle shrieked.

I cover her eyes. Going out the room, I slide down the wall sitting down. Shailene couldn't die. I can't go to her funeral with three kids, and have to deal with the hardcore feeling that she's gone.

Doctors rush past us with crash carts. If she'd only sign that stupid form. I sigh. Bringing Belle into my lap, She lies her head on my shoulder.

"Dada.." her voice was trembling. "I'm scared."

"You know that song we sang last night?"

"Yeah."

"What about we sing a song."

"Okay. Can I sing with you?"

"Sweet Little kitty, Short little kitty, give me a kiss. Nice little kitty, lovely little kitty, you'll be missed. Lie your head, lie your head, go to sleep tonight... lie your head, lie your head, My little kitty is safe tonight." I kissed her forehead.