Sleeping with a lie

(21)

Smoke from the scrambled eggs and French toast swirled in the air. I stuck my fork in the cinnamon flavored breadsticks.

"Shailene." Mom took of her glasses, sitting in the chair in front of me. I glance at her stern look. "You haven't been yourself lately. And I think I know why."

"What?"

"Over the past couple of days you have been dealing with stress, fame, a sick child. I know- this is hard on you."

"I don't have a problem."

"Your problem is dealing with the fact that you don't want to be loved." She steals one of my French toast sticks.

"How do I fix it mother?" Done with my eggs, I move my plate to the side.

"Love Theo. Love Belle."

"Hmm..." I mumbled. "Call Theo, please. Tell him- tell him that him and I have to talk."

Mom goes to the side and starts to call Theo. I stare at the yummy leftovers. Orange juice, and bacon. Niether had appatized me. I rather leave them alone.

______
Theo enters the room with his head down, looking up smiling.

"You wanted something?" He was talking in a relaxed tone.

"I'm sorry for not loving you the way I should."

He comes closer to me, sitting on the side of my thigh. I crawl my hand to his.

"Lately, I've been playing very hard to get. And I don't think that is fair to the family that we are growing right now. So Theo, will you forgive me?"

"Of course." He kissed my lips quickly, then turning his head and kissing me more slower each minute.

I lie my hands in my lap, letting his hands scroll over my face.

"Another Insurgent Premier is in a couple days. London." He backed away. "How many more days until they let you go?"

"72 hours for a glance at my scan. The cancer has shrunken by inches." I say excitedly.

Belle who was next beside me, kicked and squirmed. Theo handles her by the torso, then makes his way up to her neck. He bounced her on his knee, her head resting on his firm abs.

"Who's my little Belle?" He says in a sing-songy voice.

"Does she like your original songs?"

"Not more than she loves Sam Smith."

I chuckle.

He clears his throat. "Belle-"

"Da." Her words gurgled, but I swear she meant 'Dada'.

"DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR HER?"

"She said Da. Theo, you're a father figure to her. And her first... word." Not really disappointed. But I really would have loved her to say my name before him.

"Literally my favorite person next to you." He tickled her stomach, making her laugh.
This is what my life should consist of. No more planning, just fun. Fun.