Sleeping with a lie

(52)

SHAI P.O.V

Back to normal. I thought opening my eyes to Theo. The air from outside chilled my pale skin. Sitting up from his bare chest, I open the trunk window. One of my favorite blankets, which he had brought along the trip, warmed my body a bit.

"Good morning." Theo says sweetly.

"I miss waking up to you every morning." I say quietly.

He lightly ran his hands over my back. "Now you have this moment."

A bird swooped down over a tree. It made me think of letting go, I guess. How the bird would stop flapping for a couple seconds, letting its wings glide him/her through the sky. Wonderful.

"How are kids?" I ask.

"They're all in great care." He gently says. "Take the stress off. Relax."

I lightly laugh. "You mean go back to cuddling with you and making out at the same time?"

He raised an eyebrow."I wasn't thinking that..." his fingers went to my stomach. The tone in his voice went low and husky. "But that sounds like a great idea."

My body was piled onto his as he toppled on me. Lip locking slowly, he frames my body with his hands.

He backed away. "Shai!"

"Yeah?!" I say surprised.

"Your chemo. Is it okay if you miss it?"

I shrug. "I don't know." Smiling, I give him a kiss on the cheek. "And I don't care."

"Shai. I can't afford to have you collapse or have a seizure out here Where there isn't any phone service," he says.

Ignoring him, I start kissing him from his neck all the way down to his abs. He continued to talk until he sat up.

"What?"

"I-I'm taking you back to the treatment center." He says with hesitation. Theo gathered his clothes and started putting on his boxers.

"No!!" I shout. "Don't take me back."

"Shailene, you need help." His hand went to my shoulder.

I smack it away, now getting very frustrated. "WHY'RE YOU TRYING TO CONTROL ME!!?"

"I'm not, honey- I'M GIVING YOU A SECOND CHANCE!" He yelled.

My cheeks go to an instant red. "WHAT SECOND CHANCE?!"

"At being alive." He buttoned up his plaid shirt. "And I'm not going to sit here, kiss you, knowing that I could've sent you to the hospital to get medical attention. YOU'RE DYING!"

"IM ALREADY DEAD!!!" I SCREAM.

He shrinks down. "What?"

"I AM NOW MY DISEASE."

He cupped his hands around my face. As hard as I tried to remove his grip, he gazed into my eyes with such a feeling that would make me melt.

"Tell me what's hurting." He says softly.

"I hurt everywhere." My voice was being shooken by my urge to sob. "Kissing you, it hurts. Moving from place to place, it hurts."

He scooted closer to me, hugging me. Now was a time to cry...but too many painful tears couldn't lodge into his memory now. He can't remember me by saying, 'I remember holding her and she would just sob into my shoulder.' Because I know He wouldn't want me to do the same with him.

"Lets take a walk." He says calmly. "Just down the road."

I nod, backing away from his warmth. Putting on my clothes, he and I got out the trunk hand in hand.

Out in the open, our breath was turned into the surrounding fog. He picked me up from my feet, and carried me halfway down the road.
Near a tree, he plucked a rose and gave it to me. I smelt the sweet petals.
Shockingly, a bright yellow haze flushed my vision. I gasp for air.

"Damn it!" Theo hissed before sprinting with me in his arms, to the truck.

"...MY...BAG..!!" I gasped. He sat me in the trunk, so I could have room to lie down.

After he gave me my oxygen mask, I take in mounds at once. My lungs felt inflamed. Down went my repository system.

"Shailene," he cried. "Shailene please forgive me."

Weakly, I placed my hand over the side of his face. "Its okay."

"No. It's not. Don't let go right now." Tears were just making his eyes more vibrant.

"...Tell me a story." I say softly.

He gulped. "About what?"

"H-how I lived." The breeze chilled my skin. Goosebumps covered my arms and legs.

"You lived an amazing life. And you will continue if you don't let go!!"

I blinked slowly.

Hey guys. Don't...kill me.
~Chi~