Life as i knew.

what we call "it"

That's all it took was one simple memory one smell that one feeling and everything stopped before me. I frozen. Is this a dream? Is this real? I was shaking and i collapsed to the ground and that's when it happened my first flashback since the war the sweet smell of something burning and the touch of the waxy candle the simplest thing has caused this.

-Flash back-

I'm standing in a burning valley.

"Hello!!!!ANYONE.....CAN YOU HEAR ME????" I was telling all alone the smell of burning flesh and the smell of burnt nature.

Confused on what's actually going on. In complete shock.

-walking up-

I'm I'm a cold sweat it's midnight. I was screaming

"Kay..sweety?" Ty said running Into my room tripping over paint cans and shoes

"I don't know." I said crying and shaking

"Do you want me to stay in here." He asked holding me

"Please." We laid there he fell back to sleep instantly. I layed with looking out the window counting the stars.

-sunrise-

It becomes a normal thing waking up and being "normal"

I sat at the tall table with everyone

"Morning kay" Dallas said looking down at me

"Morning" I said

Everyone carried on the normal breakfast thing.

We all got dressed for whatever we had played. Danny and Kayden are going horseback riding. Me amber and Jason had dance. Ty Dallas and kyle and Nicole had training. It was a typically a Normal summer day..but something was right and honestly I didn't know what. This is the first day I skipped dance. I went for a walk on the hillside following the open path. I found another willow tree but this one has big white flowers.

I sat there for hours watching the valley. The horses roaming the land the cattle grazing and everyone training. The waterfall was at its best. Shinny clear water fishing in the stream everything was perfect. I never thought that I would have such a horrible anxiety attack/flashback. There getting worse.

-flash back-

Sitting in the middle of Rome. It on fire no one is around I'm all alone. I hear crashing and clashing. No one here to save me. The smell of decaying bodies. What is happening.. "I'm...a....monster.." I whispered. I kill millions of people. "Why must I be the monster I am. I'm the that killed them the one with the plain." Whispering hoping I'll be saved. I blacked out. Woke up in his arms. Ty's arms.

-the hillside.-

"I want to go home..." I whispering knowing no one will hear me as I heard foot steps.

"This is home Kaylee." Mother said walking through the trees to me

"I know. I'm not use to this though." Looking at her so some kind of reassurance.

"It takes time." She said that grabbing my hand helping me up.

It had to be dusk by now. We walked back to the house for dinner. I sat at the table not saying a word. Ignoring the intellects at the table. I sat in my room praying to sleep.

-part of "it"-

We use the safe word "it" for when we have a flashback or a bad thought. In this case "it" was a really bad flashback that is causing me to go crazy once i came back from the flashback my eyes were red and i was ready to fight. I haven't been like that since the war. I honestly don't know how to hand "it". Will it always be like that? I hate some of our safe words there rarely used but when they are you know its bad.

-Reality-

"Sis you up" nicole said standing in the shadows of my room

"Mhmm" I said looking in the window at her

"Okay. Get some sleep." She said leaving.

In the middle of the summer which is soon they're going to be the summer ball which is approaching fast I thought getting my mind off of the hell I caused.

"Nothing is working.why.what did I do..am I insane." I said looking in the mirror at myself the short blacked haired girl with piercing blue eyes almost white. "I can...do...nothing..." I said shaking.

Ty comes up behind me and hugs me.

"I love you." He said.

finally.