Life as i knew.

Final say in the end.

it was the final say, everything ended. Ty and me may of never found each other again. he was the one that has saved me every year. my only friend and the love of my life. Ty knows this too. confused on what's truly going i just sit back and realized i'm not alone.

Each smile has held something powerful and you can control something that is so fake that know one sees. Each time people ask i am fine. Know one see what is underneath the perfect smile of the bubbly girl. Always sick and Always waiting for something to go wrong.

The smile is a joke, with every I'm fine comes a seamlessly ending night with tears nightmares upon thoughts. But does anyone see that someone that can act so fine and perfect has something to hide.

I come over myself with hate and so much despair and disbelief and anger not living to something everyone wants. Wanting every bit of approval and every bit of hope, and everything is gone with the snap of my fingers everything changes.

Broken promises all because of girl looking for something to help, wanting to be in the crowed she saw the crowed that everyone hates...Just like her. Home isn't the safe place nether is school, the bullying and hate is everywhere she goes.

Wishing that night star never missing the first sight alway waiting for the night to fall. Showers getting longer and days getting shorter and school coming to an end. Facing the fact I'm almost done, than i can run and caught my breathe and be freed of endless behaviors and endless nights.

Waiting for everything to be perfect but will it happen. Waiting for something to change Something to happen? But what? will anything change? will anything happen? or is it just an over active imagination?

What is this thing we call imagination? the perfect places we have created to feel safe to feel recognized to view something that we want to happen? or is it all fake all wants instead of needs? Do we know what we Want or what we Need?

Nothing can change what i have seen. The places i have been. The feeling i have. i never had just Him. I finally spoke to him told Him how i truly felt. But i don't have all of him. something needs to change. At all costs. Time goes by and time is wasted and nothing we can do. But face what's coming..

What do you see? can't you seen what's next? you pick out everyday, what you want you mood how you feel and everything. And now...You stop? But why? are you scared? or is it you don't want to know? You question yourself everyday of every month of every year. until something changes for good or bad.

Weather changes. every bit of it. every little second one minute is summer next it is fall. The colors the feelings the sight. everything is different. You once heard kids playing now it's the talk of football and the laughter and the smell of maple. Why maple? the beautiful trees turn to orange and yellows and Bright colors of reds. But why? all of these questions but no honest answers. All you can do is go along with something we are told.

Smile? but how. How much i smile when it's so fake, that's right because we are tough that smile is the key to life. The weightless pain unknown sorrow, the endless regret, but all it is buried all of the pain and sorrow is going to build up to nothing just the fake smile and endless smiles and rumors being said and done. but why must i be the target of the harsh onset of reality.

Fake, Betrayal of unknown sources and hate of the outside people looking in, not see, how broken i truly am inside. not seeing the scars and the war of the aftermath or seeing what has happened to the innocent girl that now trying to fit in.

Pain and Sorrow the lack of creative among her, her loves turn to gates and the hates turn to a found growth of love. But how does something just change like that, something you love is just gone, forgotten. you sit here and pretend everything is fine you show how you feel in art and music and the simple words used everyday.