Life as i knew.

Life after hell.

"ty. we need to talk." i said walking in to toys room

"look, I'm sorry for the hell i out you through." Ty said looking down

Me and him have been through hell and back never thought the day would come that I would have to walk away. But eventually the time has to come worry about yourself first and it hurts to say what I did but in the end everyone was happy. Sometimes you actually just stop and think is it worth being miserable to be happy, but I never thought that I would have to walk away from the guy that I love truly.

As me and ty got distance we also got closer. Time has a funny way of showing love it's also the creator of something new and the destroyer of things that were old.

Some things were never mine and I realize that as father told me. Sometimes you just need to grow up and realize that the things that you hold so close to you also have to set free to see if they'll come back or if they'll stay gone forever.

"Kay?" Father said walking up the stairs to my room
"What." I said turning around from the window
"Meds. And it's time for you to go back to school." He said kissing my forehead handing me the cup with two pills one was purple and the other was white.

At this point I am with Miss before your school I was out because of my depression and because of my suicidal thoughts and everything that has happened. But I learn you can't hide from everybody when you're like this you need to be yourself as much as it kills you to be happy you need to try.

I got ready I put on a light pink shirt and sweatpants. I put flip-flops on and grabbed my bag and headed to school. I still have caught up in school my teachers came and taught me at home and told me that they wish I was in class but I wasn't ready to face that. I walked into school with my head held high and the rumors began people begin to talk and I learned people can be alone people will put you down but you know in the end you just have to learn how to be yourself and love yourself before someone else can love you.

After we lost valen  everything just changed. Between my sisters relapses between mine and everything that happened you just have to make the best of what you have and you have to go forward with yourself as much as it's going to be painful to think about something like this you have to learn how to accept yourself before someone else can accept you. After losing my best friend it kind of really hurt. And I'm guessing that's why everything spiraled out of control he was there for me when everyone else walked away.

"Kay.. Are you ok?" Ty said looking at me.
"I'm fine. I have to get to the office to check in." I said walking away.

School was hard trying to focus and trying to pay attention to everything when you have a 101 thoughts in your head. You may not ever be the same after an incident like that but eventually things will get easier and you have to just accept that. Even though you may not want to accept something that is so true you kind of have to learn how to accept it even though it is much darker than that it's not the meaning behind true love it's not the meaning behind a true friend it's not the meaning behind anything it's the meaning behind yourself.

From here everyday got harder and harder for me to get up and go to school and come home and do the same thing. Eventually I began to dance again I've began to the box I began to do my old routines and learning how to function again.

"Kaylee, dinner." My father yelled for me to come downstairs
"Be right there" I said running down the stair trying to get my ballet shoes off my feet.
"You look happy again." Father said
"I'm starting to feel good." I said smiling
" I have to eat quick I'm gunna be late." I said sitting down.
" recital?" Father asked
"Yeah. Are you going to be there?" I said

"Promise." He finish I got up and wiped my plate off and left.

Before of a recital I have routine I get dressed at home practice for an hour I eat and then I get in the car I listen to my favorite song I get coffee and I go to the studio and practice again right before every recital I normally always see ty. But that's where things are different now I haven't seen him nor do I want to I haven't heard from him even though we live in the same house. My first recital without him my last recital that I'm doing without confidence. I'm perfectly fine with this because I am able to do things on my own I am able to stress how I feel and actually perform how I feel. This recital I made myself a choreographed it and pick the song and I also learned my own routine which felt amazing.

Life after hell. Is hard to get your life back but in the end hell is what brought you here and how is what fixed everything that you ever needed and this is where I've learned time is the fixer of everything new and also the destroyer everything old.