I Don't Want To Go Back

03

Kinabukasan ko lang na-realize kung ano ang sinangayunan kong pustahan at wala na akong magawa dahil hindi na p’wede i-unsent ‘yung message ko kay Dana.

I slapped my own forehead, frustrated enough to feel this way. Hindi na ako titigilan ni Dana lalo nito.

I stood up from lying on my bed, i just woke up and I already feel so frustrated and pre-occupied. Just what a not so good day to start. I went straightly to my bathroom to start my routine. Washed my face with my face foam, leaving the bathroom and doing my skincare, lazily.

I changed my cloths into my usual grey plain t-shirt, and jogger for the bottom.

I left my room holding my phone and my keys. Balak ko pang magtawag ng p’wedeng tumulong sa akin maglipat nung iba kong mga gamit, since I still have some things remained stock in my room.

“Where to, my sweetie Sy?” Mommy greeted me at the end of the stairs with her usual open arms arguing me for a hug.

I smiled at her and hugged her as soon as I stepped out of the stairs. I immediately felt the warm and comforting hug of my Mom; it feels so good talaga kapag it’s hug from the Mother.

This is all I need because i’m so stressed na talaga, lately.

Mom still swayed our body before pulling out off the hug.

“To my condo, ‘mmy.” I answered her question.

Her expression changed all of the sudden, the all wide smile of her faded as her face turned into a sad look. “Why? I thought matagal ka pa bago bumalik do’n?” pagmamaktol pa niya.

I sighed and encircled my arms unto hers, “’Mmy, tapos naa po kasi ‘yong binigay na a week break ng school to get ready ourselves from the midterms. So, I need to go back to the condo so it’s more convenient for me to went back and fourth to school.”

May mga times kasi na i need to go back to house if may mga nakakalimutan akong gamit ko or papers para sa school. It is too hassle for me to go here and there para do’n, so I need to get a condo unit near my school para kahit takbuhin ko nalang.

My disagreed to it, obviously. But she still changed her mind, half-heartedly. I am her unica-hija, she wants me to stay by her side every time I have; but it can’t be. Even if I also want that; I’m a Mama’s girl after all. But school and MedTech happened.

“Fine, but—” in one condition, “you’ll still visit me here, okay?”

“Yes, Mommy. I’ll visit you every weekend if I’m free, hmm?” trying to convince her.

My Mommy is always this clingy ever since i were born, and up until now. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo dahil pareho naman kaming clingy sa isa’t isa.

Nang magkasundo kami sa kung kailan ulit ako uuwi rito sa bahay, pinakawalan na niya ako.

When I went up to my car, I immediately turned the engine and for a few minute to started manoeuvring the steering wheel. Nang nasa highway na ako papunta sa condo ko, I tried calling Dana but she’s not answering any of my calls hanggang sa makarating na ako sa condo hindi niya sinagot ang mga tawag ko.

Nasaan nanaman kaya ang babaeng ‘yon?

I parked my car at the building’s own parking lot and went up to my unit’s floor.

The elevator made a ting sound, sign that I am already at the 15th floor wherein unit placed. I reached for my key card inside jogger’s pocket and scanned it at my unit’s door scanner.

I have a medium-sixed unit along Metro Manila, just in few away in my school where i study. This unit is for 2 to 3 people, but I am alone here though so it’s a bit huge for me to live; kaya kapag binibigyan kami ng nga days or weeks break sa main house ako umuuwi since I don’t have something to do here except from reading, as usual, ano pa nga ba?