I Don't Want To Go Back

20

My relationship with Kylo is smooth and happy. I wouldn't ask for more. But with my Mom? ... she's getting weaker and weaker each day passing. And I am worried as fuck .. she can't leave me .. not now, not tomorrow, never .. just not yet, please.

Today MTLE results are out. And I can't be happy that much because Mom was confined yesterday. I rushed through the hospital, nine in the evening because Manay Rosie called me that Mom has non-stop massive coughing that evening and didn't know what to do so they rush Mom at the Hospital nearby.

I immediately called Kylo if he wasn't busy, if he could go with me dahil hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa akin kung wala siya.

My Mom was the only strength I have before, and if she will be on the hospital bed? Paano ako? Then Kylo came, he's now my support- i don't know what will happen to me if these two will suddenly leave me.

"What the Doctors says?" Kylo was behind me caressing my shoulders while we're looking at Mom, lying at the hospital bed.

"Pneumonia," I said. That was her Doctors said. "Meron daw complications. One Doctor asked me if my symptoms si Mommy ng Alzheimer's disease." I looked up to him.

"What?" he was confused.

"Ky, meron e ..." nanghihinang sabi ko. When he grab and hugged me in his arms, my tears just fell down. As long as possible, sabi ko sa sarili ko hindi ako iiyak. But whenever he wrap his arms around me, gumuguho 'yung mga pader na ginawa ko para mapatunayang malakas ako. Pagdating sa kaniya .. ayos lang umiyak, ayos lang maging mahina, kasi si Kylo ko 'yan.

"It'll be alright, love hmm?" he keep caressing my back while hugging me. "I'll be here, throughout your everything."

"Naka-pasa ako sa MTLE, love." I wiped my tears and looked at him, slightly pulling from the hug but not totally.

"Really?" I can see the sudden spark of happiness through his eyes. He held my face, "'Pag magaling na si Tita, let's celebrate it." He kissed my forehead when I nod my head.

I hugged him again, "We should celebrate it today, or tomorrow. But my head is too occupied by Mom .. baka 'di lang ako maka-focus sa 'yo. I'm sorry, Ky .."

"Shush, it's fine, mahal ... we can still do it some other time, 'diba?" he softly caressed my hair making me more sleepy. "Inaantok ka na? Can we sleep here?"

"You can go home, love. I can stay here, isa lang 'yung sofa e." I said, still hugging him.

"Go to sleep, bantayan kita."

I shook my head, "Uwi ka na." I said pero naka-yakap pa rin sa 'kanya. I don't want him to go home but he needs to, baka hinahanap na siya nina Ninang Shiela.

"Umuwi na 'ko pero parang ayaw mo 'ko pakawalan." He chuckled.

I pouted, "fine. Uwi ka na." I pulled out from the hug, letting him go.

"Go to sleep, Sy. Mamaya ako uuwi." He even patted my head before pushing me softly to lay down on the long sofa. My isang pillow rin do'n. "Wait here, I'll ask for comforter." He was about to stood up when I held his hands and pulled him back on the sofa.

"It's fine, love."

"It's cold, Sy." He firmly said, yet it sounds soft and kind of worried.

"Okay." I let him go and went out of the room to get the comforter, as if p'wede 'yun e hindi naman ako pasyente.

Hindi ko na alam kung naka-kuha ba siya dahil dinala na ako ng antok ko. I just woke up at the middle of the night, just to see that he's still here- sitting on the sofa, sa may paanan ko. Naka-cross ang braso sa ibaba ng dibdib, habang naka-sandal 'yung ulo niya sa pader- obviously natutulog nang naka-upo.