I Don't Want To Go Back

30

"This would be so complicated for everyone. We have so many things to catch up, really, Sy. You need to know everything that happened two years ago and the things currently happening."

I really need to know what's happening because currently I'm getting confused.

"Sure po," I gave her a small smile. "I just have a favor lang po sana."

"Go ahead, hija."

"You see, my daughter is so young to be in a complicated story... so I want her to be out of here. Please, just if you can, don't let Kylo know about her as of now. Just not now, Ninang."

She sighed, "I understand. I don't want my apo to be involve here too, but you know Sy that she will be sooner or later. You just can't keep it to Kylo because he will definitely know about her."

"I know po... but just not now." I moistened my lips as I get nervous even more.

While Tati yawned and rested her head on my shoulders, sleepy. I caressed her back as I fix her on my arms.

Ninang Shiela nodded her head, "alright.. maybe we could talk some other time instead, since Tati looks tired. I promise you to explain it to you as soon as possible. Because you have the rights to know everything that is happening." I nodded my head, "because after all you're part of this family."

That melted my heart but knowingly that I'm not or no longer part of their family... it somehow, sadden me. Maybe Tati could be but not me anymore.

We were about to part ways when I saw Klayre taking a peak on me behind her Mom. So I waved my hand, "Hi Klayre." I greeted.

Ninang Shiela moved aside a bit but Klayre followed her to hid on her back, "I think she's shy." Ninang chuckled. "Go to Ate Sy, Klayre. You have your niece here oh." She looked at Tati with a smile.

"Ang laki na ni Klayre... the last time I saw you, you were just so little, but look at you now." I sounded so Tita but she's so big now! Parang ang bilis, e dalawang taon lang naman mula nu'ng umalis sila ng Pinas.

"Ate Sy..." she utter.

I gave her a genuine smile that could make her feel comfortable. Ninang Shiela took Tati from me, and Tati willingly went to her.

Klayre went towards me and hugged me so tight. "Ate Sy..." she kept on whispering while hugging me.

"Klayre baby... you're no longer a baby huh?" I chuckled.

"Baby pa rin Ate!" we both laughed. "But you have your baby now." she pouted a bit and glanced at Tati behind us, carried by Ninang Shiela.

"She's so adorable, isn't she?"

"She is. She looks so much like Kuya Kylo." That made me gasp a bit, "Right." I agreed.

* * *

We parted ways after that quick talk. Ninang Shiela just asked when I will be free for a longer talk. I said my off is every Sunday, so she agreed. I-te-text nalang daw niya ako sa Sunday kung anong oras at saan pupunta.

Pagkatapos mag-grocery nanatili nalang kami ni Tati sa bahay. She was just watching some educational songs on our TV. While here I am, thinking.

Ano bang mga kailangan kong malaman? Kailangan ko pa bang malaman 'yun? Bakit? Para saan? Para mapunan 'yung dalawang taong pagtatanong ko kung bakit sila umalis na parang wala lang? Hanggang ngayon marami pa rin akong tanong para sa kanila, kaya siguro dapat lang na makausap ko si Ninang. Pero mayroon sa akin na ayaw malaman 'yung sagot... hindi muna ngayon?