History of You and Me

Chapter 31

Holding Liam's cheek blood starts to go on my hand
"Bucky!"
I call out but he's not there to respond
Shit
"What an asshole"
Liam says now holding his cheek

I look around noticing some people from the restaurant and people walking are looking at us

Bucky really should've punched me instead. I deserve it.
I feel a pit in my throat not only trying to hold in tears but just from the massive amount of guilt I had and hate I have for myself.

I wipe my hand on a handkerchief from my purse and look at Liam
"We're done. It was a mistake saying yes to you"
"What?"
He asks
I give him my handkerchief and go to the crosswalk and instantly rush across to the movie theatre.

I go up to the girl selling the tickets
"Hi-"
Before she can even go on I ask
"Was a guy with short dark brown hair with a blazer and white shirt here since four?"
"Yes.. he was.. are you his date?"
"Was- yeah I was.."

She kneels down in her booth and picks up some flowers from the floor
"I think these were for you"

She goes out the little back door and hands the flowers to me
"Thanks.."
I say in a small voice
"Have a good night. Hope things work out between you two"
She says and I smile trying to hide my hurting

I walk past the street to the street corner and just start to cry as I walk home

Whatever possessed me this past week is horrible. I'm horrible. Poor Bucky.
I love him
And I missed my shot
I can imagine how amazing the night would gone if I wasn't a jerk
We probably would picked a romance movie and I would be crying by the end and Bucky would be so sweet and hug me on the way out and then he would've probably played with the pizza just make me laugh and we probably would've gone for ice cream after
And we probably would've kissed
Maybe more

I stop and start to cry to the point I can't even see where I'm going.
So finally I call for a cab
I get in the cab driver looks at me with wide eyes and just hands me a tissue box
"Thanks"
I weakly say
"W-where are you going"
He asks and I tell him

When I get home i give the guy an extra 5 just for his troubles to deal with me. The second I'm home I fall to my couch and fall asleep

But in the morning I feel a little bit better so I take a shower, throw my hair in a ponytail and put on some light makeup but a cute outfit. It's getting a lot colder out so I've been having to layer up.

I go to Buckys apartment complex. Usually there's a doorstop in the door but today there was not. Is this the world telling me to go away. Or is that Bucky indirectly telling me to go away.
I cant have Bucky buzz me in cause he wouldn't. Ah wait Celia can
I buzz her room and start to shiver as a breeze brushes over me
"Hello?"
Celia says loudly over the speaker
"Celia it's Diane can you buzz me in I need to talk to Bucky"
"Sure hun. But promise you'll tell me about last night afterwards."
"Of course"

I say and she buzzes the door open
I go up to buckys apartment and knock on the door
No response so I know again
"Bucky..I have a feeling you're in there"
"And I just want to say I'm extremely sorry. And I hate what I did to you"
"I just.. I don't think I'll ever be able to take back what I did but I hope.. I really hope you'll at least hear me out"

I sigh and walk down the stairs.
And I go to Steve's

I bang on his door
He opens it confused
"Steve"
I whine and he takes me inside
"I really really messed up"
"Is this about Bucky?"
"Yeah.."
"He came to talk to me earlier"
"So you know what happened?"
"About how you ditched him and his date to go with someone else, yes"
"There's way more to the story but I feel like a total horrible ass"
I sit down on his sofa and he does too
"There's always more to the story with you two"
He says pushing a piece of hair behind my ears
"I just don't know what to do.."
I say softly
"Whatever you can"
He says and I nod

He pulls me into a hug and squeezes me tight
"And I'll try and talk to him too"

I nod
"Thanks Steve."
I weakly smile and he kisses my forehead
"I'll make you some tea"