Attachment Theory - Bucky BarnesxOC

Part 31: glass

18+ WARNING MINORS DNI

He can't sleep. He should be used to it by now, but he was hoping the change of scenery here would come with some added benefits. He supposes it does, in the form of Alice's warm body tucked next to him every night. Waking up to her, even if it's from a nightmare, is the best thing in the world.

But right now, he'd give anything to be able to be unconscious. Bucky tosses and turns while Alice is curled up beside him, her beautiful face relaxed. She looks like she's in a state of perpetual bliss when he sleeps. Sometimes, it comforts him enough to be able to fall back asleep after a nightmare. But not tonight.

Bucky stares at her, a little envious, as he listens to the television in the background. He reaches over with his left hand, running his fingers up and down her arm. Bucky doesn't actively think about what hand he touches her with anymore. She's gotten used to the metal arm. She even holds it sometimes when they're walking to the kitchen in the morning. She leans against it when she laughs at a joke he makes, or when she sees something funny on TV.

It seems silly to him now, how terrified he was to show it to her when he knows what kind of person she is. He didn't intend to find Alice when he walked into that club, but he's glad he did. And he never expected to fall in love with her. Bucky always thought he was too damaged for that, that nobody could possibly love someone like him after everything he's been through. He's still afraid that she'll find out everything and run.

He doesn't deserve her, but now he never wants to lose her. Bucky bites his lip as his eyes try to memorize every square inch of her face. He's always afraid of forgetting.

She's wearing his Henley. She looks so cute swimming in it. It hits the tops of her thighs. Bucky has to hold himself back from pinning her down and kissing every inch of her some nights. Her pretty pink lips part as she sucks in a deep breath and sighs.

"Aș fi pierdut fără tine," he whispers. I would be lost without you.

He speaks to her in Romanian because he doesn't like to speak Russian. It reminds him too much of his time with Hydra. They taught him thirty languages. He can pick and choose which one he speaks, but he likes Romanian. It's beautiful, and it makes her blush.

She rolls over onto her side, her back facing him. Bucky pulls her toward him, pulling her shirt down to kiss her bare shoulder. She's softness and light when he needs it the most. He wants to do something for her - something nice that a regular boyfriend would do. The problem is, he has no idea where to start. Bucky isn't a regular boyfriend and he has no idea how to act like one. Steve told him about a garden on the compound. There's a lake and a bunch of trees. They're free to use it, so long as they slip out the back. Steve had the cameras outside disabled except for the front entrance.

Bucky could use the fresh air, and he bets Alice could too.

His stomach growls and he looks at the clock. 2:00am. He strains his ear and listens. The hallway is quiet. He slips out of bed, putting on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before creeping out toward the kitchen barefoot, his eyes scanning everything to make sure he's completely alone. Once he gets there safely, he starts rooting through the cupboards, looking for something to eat. There's a lot of ingredients to make food, but not a lot of actual food. He just needs something to shovel into his face before he tries to go back to sleep. He finds protein bars, but he hates those things. They taste like cardboard and he always has to choke them down with water. Alice ate them like crazy on the road. She told him that some of them tasted good, but Bucky never believed her. As he's rifling through the cupboards, he finds a box of something called Pop Tarts. They look relatively inoffensive, strawberry flavored, and covered with sprinkles and icing. Bucky tears open a package and sniffs them. They smell good too. Kind of artificial, but so does all candy.