Necessary Good, Unnecessary Evil | No rest For Wounded Souls [Bucky Barnes]

Hiding

"No matter how far we travel, the memories will follow in the baggage car."
-August Strindberg

****

Bucky's POV

Chairs scratching on the floor abruptly stop my train of thought and I look up, noticing the rest of the team leaving the conference room.
An hour had gone by without me even noticing. The last two months have felt like one long day, morning and night mixed and switched like socks in a drawer. 
"Bucky," I hear Steve calling, and I turn to the side, seeing him walking towards me.
Natasha stays behind, giving me one quick glance before leaving. She's been colder than ice, and I'm pretty sure it has to do with Nova. She must know what happened, and I'm surprised she didn't come for my ass. Not yet.
"Are you coming?" Steve wonders, frowning.
He knows too, but at least I had a chance to explain myself to him.
I hesitate, aware that there must be something I'm missing. "Sam's invited us to his sister's place for the weekend." I close my eyes, sighing. That's what I was missing.
"Yeah, uh..." I mumble, rubbing a hand over my face. "I can't. I- I have some things to do." My words come out as a confused rant, an attempt to make an excuse.
"Buck, what's wrong?" Steve asks softly, his brows knit together in a concerned look.
I press my lips together, breathing in deeply. "Nothing. I just can't make it." I say, grabbing my jacket.
Even if I have nowhere to be, I don't want to spend another minute here. Everything here reminds me of Nova. Hell, everywhere I go reminds me of her at this point. "Are you sure there isn't anything else?" Steve probes, still trying to get to the bottom of this.

I turn around, facing him. "It's been two months." I shrug, knowing that's all I need to say for him to understand.
Steve looks away, nodding. "She will come back, and you will talk to her." He says, trying to reassure me, just like he has been trying to do since she left.
I look down at my shoes, noticing a few voices behind the closed door.
"What if she doesn't? Or if she won't listen?" I mutter, almost scared to say it out loud.
Steve glances at me, dropping his shoulders. "Bucky, all you have to do, all you can do, is tell her the truth." I scoff, running my fingers in my hair.
If only I could do that. 
"C'mon, I'm sure whatever you have to do can wait," Steve grabs my shoulder, smiling down at me.
I groan, rolling my eyes up and giving up. "Fine, I'll see you after lunch. My car is at the compound. I'm gonna need a ride." I warn him.
I could take the subway, but avoiding people is my favorite hobby.
"Sure," Steve pats my shoulder, "I'm having lunch with Nat. Do you want to come along?" I shake my head, and luckily, he doesn't question me further.

Nova's POV

Once again, the space around me changes its shape, bringing me into my mind. This time Loki came with me, guiding me through what's going to be the last step of this excruciating journey. 
All I have to do is find a link to the night my mother died, and then we will be able to recover my memories. That night is when my memories were stolen from me, and from that night, I'm going to get them back.
Something I can't see how to do yet. 
I recognize the home I shared with Bucky in Wakanda, and I glance at Loki, confused. This is not what I was expecting to see.
"You're hiding," He points out, standing next to me.
"I'm not," I object, my breath hitching as I hear a soft laugh coming from the kitchen.
I look around, seeing Bucky sitting at the breakfast table, trying to fix some kind of device he found and brought back whilst on the job he got in Wakanda.
"I understand your fear, Nova. But hiding in a nice memory is not going to help us," Loki soothes as I walk towards him.
I see myself stepping into the kitchen, leaving a quick kiss on his cheek before grabbing a soda from the fridge and going to sit next to him.
Soft music plays in the background, making both of us sing along. This was so peaceful.
I miss Wakanda and what we had there. It was all I needed, and right now, it's all I can think about.