Necessary Good, Unnecessary Evil | No rest For Wounded Souls [Bucky Barnes]

Just Five Minutes

"Where there's anger, there is always pain underneath."
-Eckhart Tolle

****

Nova's POV

The cold air makes the early morning even more unbearable.
I've been sitting on this bench for ten minutes, staring into the void.
"Here for a blow?" I hear a voice behind me and wince.
I turn around, seeing a guy in a large jacket looking at me.
"Gotta boost up for work," I shrug, and he stretches his hands forward.
I shake it feeling a plastic bag in my hand.
"Check your account," I mutter, walking away.
I shove the tiny bag in my pocket and head to the Metro.
I get to the compound, heading directly to the restroom before going to my training.
I lock the bathroom door, sitting on the toilet, and taking my phone out of my bag.

I open the cover, using the back of my phone as a surface to pour some of the white powder.
"Shit," I tilt my head back, giving myself a few seconds.
I scratch my nose and put everything away.
My body starts to react to the drug as I walk out of the stall and wash my hands.
I look at my image in the mirror, noticing dark circles under my eyes.
The last time I slept was around forty-five hours ago, but I'm not even that tired.
"Morning," I bob my head to greet a woman leaving the gym.
I start by wrapping my knuckles and wrists, heading to the punching bags.
Footsteps approach me, and I stop my strikes to looks at who's coming.
I see Bucky walking in with a white towel over his shoulder.

"Hey," I say, watching him leave his towel on a bench.
"You got here early," I notice.
"So did you." He states, putting on punch mitts.
He stands in front of me, holding up his hands.
I start hitting the mitts, crouching down whenever he swings his hands over my head.
Our rhythm gets more and more intense, and he stops my leg from hitting his face.
"Sorry," I say, panting. My heart drums in my chest, and I start to feel sick.
"You good to continue?" He wonders, his brows knitted together.
"Yeah," I say quickly, and he tosses away the mitts.

"Wack, try again," Bucky states, helping me to get up.
The effects of the drugs are gone, leaving me exhausted.
"I'm done." I groan, adjusting my hair.
We tried this exercise for twenty minutes, and I barely can get through half of it.
"We just started. You haven't trained for a week. Do you want to rejoin the team or not?" He shouts as I walk away.
I turn around, seeing him moving towards me, and he stops a few feet from me.
"I can come back anytime. Just because Tony stopped me for a week, doesn't mean I've forgotten how to fight." I retort, and he scowls at me.
"He stopped you because you overdosed, or did you forget?" He scolds, and I clench my fists looking away.

"You know you have to do a blood test today, right?" My breath hitches and I dart my eyes to him.
"No one told me," I mutter, trying to think how to get out of this situation.
"Are you still taking that shit?" His face creases with annoyance, a flicker of disbelief in his eyes doubles the guilt in my chest.
"What? No." I counter, crossing my arms.
"I haven't seen you at lunch or dinner in the last two days. Did you even had any sleep?" He hints, and I start to feel really tired and irritated.
"Yes," I say sternly.
"Then why do you look like shit?" He queries, stepping closer.
"Very charming, Barnes." I scoff, scratching my face.
"What are you doing, Nova?" He breathes, studying my face.
"Nothing that concerns you."
I walk off, going to get my stuff from the locker room.

"Goddammit," I curse under my breath, heading for the shower.
After New Year's Eve, Tony basically grounded me.
I passed out in the bathroom, and Bucky panicked and called him.
Tony's mad face was the first thing I saw the morning after that night.
He took my suit, my bracelet and confined me in the tower for a week.
Not that this stopped me from going out anyway.
But I can't take this fucking test right now.
I need to get back to my life, or I'll go crazy.
"Stupid shower," the water doesn't turn on hot, and I'm freezing.
I shower anyway, making it quick and getting out as soon as possible.
I wander to the common area and crash on one of the couches, laying down on the cushions and closing my eyes.
I could really use a nap right now.
My body feels completely worn out, but somehow I can't fall asleep.
My head starts spinning, and my chest feels tight.
I sit up and hold my head in my hands, taking deep breaths.
My stomach aches, and I decide to go check if there is something to eat.
I found some protein bars and go for them. It's better than nothing.