Necessary Good, Unnecessary Evil | No rest For Wounded Souls [Bucky Barnes]

Lion In A Cage

"We imagine things-that we wouldn't be able to survive, but in fact, we do survive. We have no choice, so we do it."
-Joan Didion

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Amanda's POV

Heavy rain was falling on my head as I stood in the middle of an empty road.
The man in front of me was crouched down, shaking as his arms folded around his knees. "What is going on?" He stammered, looking up at me.
I sighed, slowly drying my clothes with magic. "They are probably waiting for you," I muttered, guilt making me feel sick.
With fear all over his face, he clearly didn't know what was going on. 

I heard a faint sniffling, and my head snapped in the direction of the terrified man. "I don't want to go back." His voice was weary, and I could read how tired he was on his face.
"I'm sorry, James," I whispered, unable to hold his look.
Many questions filled his eyes, but there was no time for answers.
He looked down at his hands, breathing heavily. "My name is James?" He wondered. I could feel his pain, cutting through me like red hot blades.
I nodded, kneeling in front of him. "I know you're confused now, but it's going to be ok," I told him, sickened by my own cruelty. 

I knew what I was doing was not fair, but I didn't have another option.
He shook his head, squeezing his eyes like he was in pain. "What... Who are you?" He stressed, staring at me.
His brows were knitted together, his lips pursed in a question. Who am I?
"Take care of my little girl, ok?" I croaked, my voice breaking with pain. 
They took her alive because they wanted to keep her, and that was going to be way worse than death.
"What-" I rested my hand on his head, staring into his blue eyes.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, putting his mind back in the box where I found him.

Fabricating a new memory is not easy, and putting it into someone's brain is even harder, but his mind was so severely damaged that it didn't take more than a few minutes.
That's when I realized I was taking a path I wouldn't be able to leave.
Now I had to find a way to take my daughter back, but first, I had to chop off the head of the snake. 
It was the only option, and I couldn't waste my only chance.

After so many years spent without using my powers to their full potential, I was drained of all my energy when I arrived in Agapi.
The view opening in front of my eyes was the most painful I've ever witnessed.
The Agapi I remembered as colorful and vibrant seemed to be covered with a grey cloth, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was too late.
How torn was my home. What could I do to put together all the pieces?

I moved quickly away from the gates, roaming the cliff to get to the lower area of the palace and entered from the tunnels.
To my surprise, no one was on watch, giving me free access to the palace. It never felt so cold in there.
I left the Polaris District behind, getting to Vega's streets, pulling my hood up to shield my face.
Not many people were walking the streets. Most of them were merchants and a few guards. 

The streets of my childhood looked so different that I struggled not to get lost. 
Fear started to grow in me as I kept walking, expecting someone to jump on me any second. 
The tallest buildings in the middle of the district were silent, and I really thought they were empty.
It took me a couple of hours to leave behind the city and get to the old Council chapel, hoping to find Faye.

"It took him a cycle to return and just a day to leave again," Shelann informed, hanging her bow on top of her bed.
Her sister Tyta was the general of Agapi's Army and the first Warrior of the Queen Elite, so she was the most aware of the internal situation of the army.
Shelann got chosen by the Queen to be one of the Council's members and basically became a big sister to me. "Did he find Orion?" I asked, my heart aching. My brother was the last family I could have left.