Necessary Good, Unnecessary Evil | No rest For Wounded Souls [Bucky Barnes]

I Deeply, Unconditionally, Fully Love You

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love."
-Washington Irving

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(I'd suggest grabbing some tissues for the end of the chapter.)

Nova's POV

Sounds all around me are muffled, but loud. Why is everyone yelling?
"This is not how we planned it." Theo shouts in my face, stopping in front of me.
I blink a few times to break my trance. "Get out of my way." I seethe, my eyes falling on the rifles in my hands.
My gaze falls back on him. "One of my friends got taken while trying to help your people." His face stays impassive as he stares at me, pissing me off.
"You can't jeopardize the whole mission for just one person." He argues, following me as I walk out of the armory.

"We are going to rescue her. Now." I state again, leaving the guns on the table in the conference room.
"They may not expect us to immediately respond to the attack," Sam mutters, working on Redwing.
I sigh, pressing my hands against my temples. "They got one of yours because they know it would make you react. That's what Angus wants." Theo's voice makes me snap, and I walk over to him, hearing chairs scraping the floor.

I point my finger at him, gritting my teeth. "I know you're used to leaving your men behind, but this is not how we do things." Faye and my mother stand behind me, probably worried I'm going to attack their little soldier.
"Nova."  I hear my mother call, but I ignore her.
"We are going, with or without you." My last statement makes him scoff, shaking his head.
I walk off, knowing there isn't much time left. "She's probably dead by now!"
My body freezes at the door, and my nails dig into my palms.

I spin on my heels, my fist hitting Theo's jaw hard. Again and again.
"Hey, hey!" A bunch of hands grab me, dragging me away between shouting.
I contort in someone's strong grip, my whole attention directed on my target. "Shut it down, Nova." I hear Bucky scold in my ear, his hands on my arms.
I try to launch myself forward again, but he slams me against the wall, grabbing my chin. "What the hell are you doing?" He snarls a few inches from my face.

I breathe in sharply, feeling my hands shake with rage. "Breathe, slowly." He dictates hoarsely.
Following his instructions help me clear my mind, but I can still feel anger burning in my chest.
Bucky steps to the side, and my eyes land on Theo's bloody face. "If something happens to any of my friends, you better hope this whole place goes down in flames, or I'm going to burn it to ashes myself." I threaten, pointing my finger at him.
My eyes move to the rest of the team, taking in their concerned expressions. Did I take it too far?

I storm out of the room, ignoring anyone calling my name.
The cold air on my skin feels like a cold shower in the summer. For a second, it seems like the first time in a while since I've breathed fully.
I lean against a wall, slowly sliding to the ground, feeling the grass between my fingers. It's so quiet out there.
My head hurts, so fucking much.

"Hey." I lift my head from my knees, seeing Bucky standing a few feet from me.
He sighs, walking towards me and sitting next to me. "Are you ok?"
I shake my head, hiding my face again. "I can't lose her, Bucky." I whimper, burying my nails into the skin of my arms. I feel so close to falling into pieces.
Bucky rests his hand behind my head, stroking my hair. "We will find her."
I rub my eyes, looking up at him. "She's here because of me. If something happens-if anything happens to any of you, that's on me." I croak, my throat swelling as I try to push back my feelings. I need to stay lucid.

"This is not your fault, Nova." Bucky objects, moving closer to me.
I look up at him, feeling my heart sink. How long before someone else gets hurt? How long before he gets hurt? "Of course it is. All of it." I scoff, pulling a few strands of grass.
"C'mon, let's get inside." Bucky mutters, standing up and giving me his hand.
I grab it, pulling myself up and wrapping my arms around his neck.