Necessary Good, Unnecessary Evil | No rest For Wounded Souls [Bucky Barnes]

Just A Kid

"And yet to every bad there's a worse." 
-Thomas Hardy

****

Nova's POV

My feet are sore after all the walking in these heels, but I ignore the pain and head to the dining area, finding the team sitting at a long table.
"Hey, Nova!" Sam greets me with a grin.
Natasha lifts her head, smirking at me. "Can I borrow that dress when we get back?" She wonders, biting her sandwich.
I sigh, nodding distractedly. "Go pack your stuff. We're leaving." I mutter, sitting on one of the wooden benches. 
"What do you mean we're leaving?" Tony frowns, looking up.

I take off my shoes, sighing in relief. "They don't need us anymore." I grumble.
Steve looks around, his eyes finding Bucky behind me. "What happened?" He wonders, concerned.
"I said we're going back. This is not our problem anymore." I snap, staring at him. "They have gods and magic. They will be fine." I add, more calmly this time.
"Nova, calm down and tell us what's going on." Nat needles, moving closer to me.
I stand up, glancing at her. I should have never agreed to go further with this whole thing. It's my fault if now we are all here. "We're leaving this shit hole tonight."

Tony's face drops, and I can read in his mind that he knows something is wrong. I told him about the ceremony. 
Footsteps echo behind me in the empty hallway, and a familiar voice calls my name. "Nova, slow down a second." Bucky shouts.
"What?" I bark, turning around.
Bucky wraps his arms around me, sighing deeply. "I'm so glad you're ok."
I relax my body, cursing myself for being so harsh. "Yeah, I'll be even better when we get back home." I take a step back, breaking the hug.
"I'm sorry, for what happened back there." Bucky speaks softly.
I shake my head, keeping walking towards our room. I really need a shower. "Don't, it's not your fault." The pad on the wall scans my palm, unlocking the door and letting me in.

Bucky follows me, and I can hear the door behind me closing as I head to the bathroom. "I can feel that you're mad, but there's something stronger underneath it." He points out.
"Bucky, please." I groan, taking off my dress and getting in the shower.
The warm jet of water hits my face, and water starts to flush down my body, washing off all the dust from my skin.
The last thing I want to do after what happened today is talk about it.
There isn't much to discuss. My mother lied to me, again. And once again, I trusted the wrong people.
Why is it so hard for them to be honest?

The water starts to turn cold, warning me that I have only a bunch of few minutes left before it runs out.
I use the large towel left on the sink to wrap around my body and squeeze out the excess water from my hair.
The cold air makes me shudder. I really don't get how the weather works here.
Luckily, I don't need to since I won't be spending much more time here.

I head to the bedroom again, noticing Bucky sitting on his side of the bed, his eyes down.
The fresh underwear feels good on my skin, although the shower didn't wash away the heavy feeling in my chest.
I walk to the bed to get my clothes, but stop in front of Bucky.
My hand reaches for his cheek, and he looks up. "Don't look at me like that, Buck." I mumble, unable to bear the concern in his eyes.
My thumb strokes his bearded cheek, and I get lost in the blue of his eyes.

"I can't do anything if you don't talk to me." He murmurs, dropping his hands between his knees.
I look away, scratching my nose. "What do you want me to tell you? It's pretty obvious that I'm upset that I got played, again, by my mother." I scoff, pressing my lips together to keep myself from going into a conversation I'm not ready to have.
Emotions start to act up, I feel my throat getting tight, and my nose gets itchy. 

I bring my hand to my face, breathing deeply. "I know there's a part of you that doesn't want to leave." Bucky hums, moving his hands to my hips to pull me close.
A tear rolls down my face, but I'm quick to dry it. "And it's not guilt or fear of what could happen. You want to be here." He adds.
I shake my head, keeping my gaze on the wall behind him. 
A shaky breath leaves my lips, and I swallow a few times before speaking. "There's nothing here for me." I croak, resting my hands on his shoulder.