Necessary Good, Unnecessary Evil | No rest For Wounded Souls [Bucky Barnes]

Kak solntse v dozhdlivye dni

"Once someone's hurt you, it's harder to relax around them, harder to think of them as safe to love. But it doesn't stop you from wanting them."

-Holly Black

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Nova's POV

I blink a few times, not sure if I'm fully awake. "Mom?" My voice barely audible, feeling my feet glued to the floor.
Am I finally losing my mind? 
Tony walks in front of her, his brows knitted together as he looks at me. I move my eyes on him, my lips twitching in the attempt to say something. "H-how... How is that possible? Is that really her?" I stutter, unable to think straight. 
"You look so grown up," my mother speaks softly, her voice shaking a bit as her lips curve up, and she looks at me with teary eyes.
I stare at her as she gets closer to me, stretching her hands forward to meet mine. 
My heart skips a beat as I gasp at her touch. "I don't understand." I snivel, feeling my hands shake into her grip.
"There's so much I have to tell you... but right now, all I want is to hold my sweet bee," she chuckles, gently caressing my cheek as she speaks.
I feel my chin tremble, my lips pressed together. I'm so scared that I'll wake up the second I move. "Are you real?" I whisper while my vision is blurry from the tears gathering in the corners of my eyes.
Two arms pull me in, embracing me in a warm hug, and for the first time in a while I was able to breathe freely, without despair weighing on my chest.
I give in, breaking down in her arms, my hands clutching her clothes. "Life hasn't been fair to my baby," she murmurs, making me sob harder.

Years of guilt and loneliness seem to collect in my chest for an instant, reminding me how many nights I cried myself to sleep, hoping to feel these arms holding me one more time. "It didn't go a night without wishing to have you back," she croons though answering my thoughts.
I look up, meeting her eyes and taking in her loving expression, still not believing what I'm seeing. 
Tony stops next to me, resting his hand on my shoulder. "Why don't we get somewhere where we can talk?" He suggests as he walks us to the elevator and gets us to his floor.
I walk my way to the circular couches in front of the tall glass wall. I get lost for a second in the view. 
"I know you must have a lot of questions right now, but I think you should let Amanda talk first," Tony says, handing me a glass of water as my mother and I sit down next to each other.
I nod my head, not really knowing what I should say or think.
"A few months ago, I returned to Earth, contacted Tony trying not to put him on the Council's radar." My mother starts, resting her hand on my knee. "It took him a while to get my message, but when it got to him, we met, and I explained everything to him." She looks up at Tony, and he nods at her.

I've never heard my mother talk about him. We never really talked about my father. But from the way she looks at him, I can tell she cares about him.
"That's while I was in Asgard," I ponder.
I can't believe she was alive this whole time, and I left just when she got back.
Why didn't she come to get me? 
A frown forms on her face. "You went to Asgard?" She inquires.
I nod, looking down for a few seconds. Did my mom leave me there on purpose? "Yes, to recover my memories and find the rest of the prophecy," I mutter, looking up again.
Her face drops, and her eyes darken. "You got your memories back?" She frets.

I hesitate, not understanding the sudden change in her mood. "Most of them," I inform.
She looks at me for a few seconds, shaking her head, confused. "But the spell is still intact. How did you do?" She inquires.
I lift my shoulder in a shrug, glancing at Tony for a second. "I don't know... what are you talking about?"
My mother sighs, closing her eyes. "The night they took you, I cast two spells. One to keep your memories hidden, and the other to awaken your powers." I stare at her, trying to process all she's telling me.
"My powers?" I echo. Nothing seems to make sense.
"When you were born, I knew the Council would have tried to find me and use you to do that. They can track you when you use magic." She adds, and suddenly things start to make more sense. That's why I didn't get all of my memories.
"Why did you suppress my memories?" I wonder, not getting her point. I thought Hydra kept me as a payment from the Council. Why would they hunt me down afterwards?
"To keep you safe." She states, staring at me.