ECLIPSE *An Abusive Relationship* || JEON JUNGKOOK

HALLUCINATIONS!

JUNGKOOK'S POV

I was on my way back home. I was a little nervous about tomorrow because I had to give my final insights on the industrial case and I really don't want to mess this up. I checked the documents and synopsis it was well arranged and documented.

Honestly I didn't trust Miss Jo with the work but she did everything pretty good and made it easy for me to work on. I m thankful she is good at this, now I can actually have a hand in the office.

Other than all this I don't want to go back home, I am thinking about stopping on the han river bride for a while. Maybe I can call taehyung or jimin or both If they are free. Ever since y/n got out of the hospital I haven't spoken to any of them properly. It's just that I don't know how to face them also, I am really busy these days, here and now.

I stopped my car on the road side and called Taehyung. He didn't pick up maybe he was busy or maybe sleeping so I didn't call him back. I called jimin as well but turns out he went to Busan for some business work. I am really unaware of what is happening around me. I just gave up and started driving again.

I was on the Han river bridge and driving slow because I love this place. It's like my escape, whenever I look at the river I feel relived. It looks even more beautiful in the morning when the sun rises and the sunlight hits the blue surface.

Thinking about home, y/n's face is flashing in front of me. I have wronged her. The things I did to her are unforgivable. I shouldn't have done that. I should have trusted her.

I was so furious when all that happened that I didn't see or understand anything. I just ruthlessly punished her for something she never did. I was wrong and this feeling frekin kills me. I don't know what comes into me sometimes but I really feel that y/n will leave me someday.

Not that I want hurt her but I eventually do and I don't know how to stop this.

I am scared that she might leave me and I guess I deserve it. I know I myself told her in the hospital that she should just leave me and go away but deep, deep down I don't want her to go. I want her to stay by my side. I want her to be with me. I need her!

But at the same time this regret never goes away. I don't know what comes into me and I just lose it. I really don't know why I did this to her. Actually I know why I did it and why I do it but who to put the blame on? Only I know why I am like this. I hate myself for hurting the most precious thing that I have.

Thinking about how it all started pisses me off even more. She is mine and I cannot let anyone take her away from me not even she herself. she is mine only mine. Mine to love mine to ruin...... mine to hurt she is mine, only mine!

Fuck!

What on earth is wrong with me what was I thinking.

Shut the fuck up jungkook just shut up!

No, jungkook stop it what the fuck are you thinking. Don't! just stop you have already caused her enough. Not anymore.

It's been a long time since I saw her smile. It's faded, it's gone and I don't blame her. I snatched it away from her. I am the one to blame I am the one who took it, banished it, ruined it. so, I guess I should be no one to think as to why she doesn't smile more often now.

-

I parked my car and saw that the lights were out. Is she asleep already? No, but then why are all the lights off it must be power fluctuation again. I thought to myself and went to check the lights.

And I was right, it was the power fluctuation again but why is it having so often?

I didn't give it much thought and went inside because it was cold. I will call someone tomorrow to look at it. Also, the inverter was broken which has to be fixed.