System malfunction || DC

Chapter Fourteen

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Fragile Minds

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The color of fire hearths and tangerines, orange gold, extends far and wide. It's only a reflection of dusk, the promise of the rising sun to return once the velvety night has had its say and the earth has rested once again.

Splendid blends of blush and pastel, smoothing out the blue. As it does every clear night, but tonight the picture was smeared. Unlike the peach sunset, the overcast night is a million promise-notes of heaven's rain, each in graphite grey and inscribed into the sky. Melting from its highpoint, water clashing, making it muddy.

Bleeding is a warning, one of melting moments, and the other a melancholy lament.

Life takes its time as the sun sets to relax its hearts and prepares to lay their minds to bed. This time is valuable because it allows youngsters to do their schoolwork, moms to prop up their sore feet, men to change the channel, and individuals to select when their days end.

The appearance of clouds expedited the arrival of darkness. As a cold rattled against lofty buildings and crept through crevices in windows, people rushed to bed. It demanded darkness.

Jocelyn was not interested in either. She wished to sleep and fantasize about lovely things. Soft thoughts that soothe her weeping soul and banish her stress to hell. At the same time, she felt guilt, as if she hadn't been productive and wanted to spend another hour cleaning the flat or preparing for the next day.

There are so many hours in a day, and yet the dread of missing out persists. Seated at the front of her mind, listing all the things she could and should do; yet knows she can't accomplish because her body requires rest.

It wouldn't make much of a difference if she stayed awake. Catch up on her many novels, finish a chapter of that fanfic she's not writing, or even complete a series she's interested in. She'd feel worse if she did any of these things. Using up valuable hours of rest to procrastinate on sleep.

It's a disorder. There is never enough and yet there is always too much. Everything in one bite. We waste hours sleeping in or racing to work, living our lives in search of something and then moving on to the next grueling task.

Such objects of obsession to satisfy our desire to be successful can be described in a variety of ways. Some may be favourable, while others may be bad. You might be admired for your commitment or mocked for your obsession. Everyone has one, and as they grow and evolve, we succumb and seek another to fill the vacuum.

A reason. Something to drive our existence that goes beyond the age-old issue of "what is the purpose of life?"

In reality, there is no meaning. There isn't a single clear universal meaning to life. It is always evolving. To live a joyful life. To commit oneself to a cause in order to assist others. To better life and the next generation. To protect the Earth so that we can one day address the answer to this question.

Jocelyn was unconcerned. She couldn't care less about what happened to others around her, about how the water is contaminated, the air is poisonous, and that food is so processed that it makes her sick.

Because this wasn't her home and those around ehr made it obviously clear that they didn't want her there. Plus she couldn't find it within herself to care because her purpose was GONE. Her reason to live is GONE. Her subordinates, her family, her friends, the lives she thought she wouldn't miss because she's accustomed to death are GONE.