Escape to the Hills // Newt x Reader

30 - hello again!

"How much did you sleep the last few days?" He asked, squinting against the sun.

You scoffed, flicking a strand of hair out of your face. "Don't act like you're worried."

"I am worried," He replied, confused.

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am!"

"Right.  So, being worried about me was ignoring my existence until you couldn't, then acting like you hate me? Don't even fucking worry about  it, then."

Newt was silent, but his eyes never left you. You  refused to look at him, as you knew there was a look of something  strained on his face, like he couldn't explain his own actions. Just the  thought of it made you roll your eyes with another scoff. Now that you were started, you didn't feel as though you could stop.

"So, does that mean you only like me when you can play knight? 'Cause, buddy, you've got one high ass horse to have the nerve-"

"I love you."

The  stunned silence that followed wasn't purposeful. Your lips froze open,  mid-yell. You felt yourself melt inside, like the anger was doused but everything else was suddenly too warm. The sweat sticking the clothes to your back itched a bit too abruptly, and Minho's arm had you in a choke hold. There wasn't enough air in your lungs.

"I couldn't come to terms with it," Newt explained. "This is no place to be in love. The world is dead, the inhabitants are quite literally killing each other, and the risk of death is all too real. I felt like I couldn't love you because I'd be endangering you. I don't want to see you hurt. If I do, I might lose my mind. It was the wrong decision, I know, but I can't stand the thought of being the reason you get killed."

Unsure of how to answer, you replied quietly. "I can take care of myself."

Newt let a chuckle slip passed his lips. "I know."

"Then, stop acting like I can't."

"I'm  only looking out for you," Newt defended curtly. The sudden mood change sent you spiralling. Why did you say that? It was not time for that conversation.

"I know, I'm sorry," With a sigh, you finally  glanced at him. He looked more vulnerable than you had imagined. "Thank you for explaining."

-

As if the sun wasn't enough of an issue, Mother Nature decided to send a sandstorm to slow your progress even farther. Scarves had been passed back and you wrapped one around your face and Minho's, though you thought it was unlikely that he'd even open his eyes until the next day.

Newt still cast obvious side-long glances at you over Minho, but you kept your face forward. Your eyes stayed glued to Thomas' back a good few paces away. With the distance between the three of you and the rest of the group, it was unlikely that they had heard your exchange with the man beside you. Even if they did, you realized, it wouldn't matter much. Whatever was happening between the two of you was obvious from the start. You were sure the situation between you two the last few days put a strain on the group that you didn't see. There was nothing you wanted more than to mend that, but, as you had told Newt earlier, you needed time to process.

Not much time, it seemed.

"So," You started lowly, eyes still on Thomas' back but head inclined to Newt. His gaze was on you instantly. "when did you realize?"

"The dogs," He stated, knowing what you meant. "When you grabbed my arm and hid behind me a bit," A soft smile grew on his lips.

You nodded. At the time, you hadn't even realized you were doing it. Of course, you were aware, but its implications were hidden to you. He seemed to remember it clearly.

"I knew," You said slowly, watching him in the corner of your eye. "when I fell into your arms after getting back from the walls."

"So, you-"

"Yeah."

The broadest smile you've ever seen from him split his face. You dared to look directly at him finally, letting the sight of his smile pull one onto your own face.

"Okay." He said softly. "We'll work toward something then."

You liked the sound of that. "Okay,"

-

For the third time, you shifted Minho on your shoulder. Since the adrenaline of being attacked and the talk you had with Newt wore off, his weight had slowly increased. Walking through sand was also taking a toll on your legs. Newt, though he denied it twice, did not look like he was doing much better. Between the time the two of you fell into silence, the distance between you and the rest of the group had closed significantly. So much so that you now could reach out and touch Thomas' shoulder.

You knew switching out who held Minho and River was an option, but speaking was too physically taxing to ask someone. Plus, you didn't want to give out just yet; whether it was some self-conscious feeling trailing the things that were revealed that you weren't ready to face yet, or the fact that you needed to hold out longer than Gabi, who was struggling but still on her feet toward the front of the group.

Nonetheless, when Gally fell back and picked up walking next to you, the urgency at which you agreed to hand Minho over to him took over. You managed to keep yourself upright on your feet, but your equilibrium threw off the next few steps you took. Finally straightening, you began walking normally, as if nothing had happened, beside Thomas, who seemed to have missed your comedy show - thankfully. Behind you, you could hear Gally and Fry cackling to themselves over your antics. You shot them a warning glare over your shoulder, finding Newt's eye in embarrassment as he strode up to you.

Newt panted as he matched your pace. The heat and the effort of holding such a big weight for such a long amount of time had gotten to him as well. "Are you okay?"

Magnificently, you managed to hide your complete mortification with a tired smile. At least, you hoped it hid it. "I'm fine."

Something equal to an awkward silence fell between the two of you. You weren't sure what to say next, or if Newt wanted to talk at all. It was probably better to conserve energy, anyway. You weren't sure how much farther it was to The Hills.

No matter how much you hoped, you knew better than to believe you'd make it soon. For Minho's sake, you kept hoping; for everyone's sake. The group was tired, thirsty, and hungry. Frypan had been rationing the food to make it last as long as he could spread it and water was a tricky subject. It was obvious that you each needed it more desperately than food, but the fear of running out kept anyone from drinking more than a sip at a time.

-

Y'all ain't gonna believe this, but look who's back. I'm not sure how many of you will still be interested in reading this, but I've felt guilty for the last few years about not finishing this when I said I would. So, we're back on! I'm not sure how often updates will be once this one goes up, but I will try my hardest to get them out in a timely fashion.

In the coming chapters, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in the lore, its been quite a while since I last worked on this piece (you guys are the most aware of this out of everyone).

For those of you new to reading this book, I hope you're enjoying! And for those of you, if any, have come back to finish this off with me, welcome back! I've missed you. I've heard your complaints and read all of your comments and I truly cherish every nice thing you guys say about this. I'm hoping to live up to what you guys expected as we grow closer to the end of this book! Leave comments about where you think it's heading -- maybe I'll pick a few ideas up from you guys!