True Family Love

Being with Jace

As we sit to watch the movie Jace asks what i would like to watch.. i know i should be sweet, but i can't help but to answer with "i don't really care." I can see the hurt this puts in his eyes, i try to make up for it by adding, "as long as I'm with you, it doesn't matter." The hurt in his eyes is quickly replaced with affection for me, affection i hope my eyes seem to return. "Come, my love, let us watch your favorite movie," he says lovingly as he holds up the movie titanic. I go and sit next to him, and i curl into his side, knowing it is what will please him. "Clary," he begins, " I must ask something of you." Oh, dear, I do hope it is something simple, i already hate the amount of lying i do. "Yes, my love," I answer in the most adoring of voices. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but it's like a dam has been built, blocking him from speaking, and he looks so stricken, it's hurts to know i may have caused this. Finally, he begins,"Clarissa, you... you would tell me if something had come between us right? if your love was not true, you would tell me, correct dearest?" Oh dear... what if he knows.... i must really begin to show my "love" for he can never discover my love for Sebastian. "I wouldt need to tell you dearest," I begin " because that will never happen, my love remains yours and only yours." I reassure him as I kiss his lips gently and lay my head on his shoulder. "You will always be my love, now shall we start the movie Jace... never doubt my love for you, it is a pure as an angel themselves." All i can think as I say this is that even the purest of angels can be corrupted. As the movie starts i feel myself drifting off, behind my now closed and sleeping eyes, i see Sebastian. I see us together in a world that accepts us. We are allowed to be together freely, unfortuanally this sweet dream quickly takes another turn.. as we stand together we seen to rise above those below us, and the land turns rocky and dry. I look over to Sebastian and he has a crown upon his head, and i know if i felt my own head, i would see i am wearing a tiara. I see people dropping dead, all but one. And the one that remains standing kills me inside. It's Jace and i know why Sebastian has permitted him to live, so he can watch me ascend to the throne beside Sebastian. Then I see a demon with whips for arms descend upon Jace, and i scream for it to stop as it lashes again and again against his skin. "NO! Stop, please!!" I beg and sob in the dream world of mine, my heart breaking as I wake up to Jace shaking me, telling me I was dreaming. Telling me it's okay now, that it was just a dream... but it fear it was more than just that.. so much more.