True Family Love

I wanna feel what love is

A while later, me and Sebastian just lay in his grand bed. I am curled against his side close to slumber as his gentle breathes raise and lower his chest. Sadly, before I am able to indulge fully in the moment their is a loud pounding at the door. "Sebastian! By the Angel, tell me you know where Clary is!!" Jace screams and threatens to break down the door lest Sebastian answers quickly. I whisper into his ear my plan, and then run into his bathroom and grab an bottle of shampoo. I hear Sebastian answer the door, soothing Jace, telling him Clary is here, to get soap for her shower. I see Jace coming around the corner and fear his anger at my empty locked room. "Clary why did you tell me you'd be here?," he asks as he lays a gentle hand on my cheek. "I didn't tell you because I was only to be here a moment, but Sebastian seems to keep his bathroom like a pig sty," I give Sebastian a fake glare, and turn Jace away from the perfectly organized bathroom behind us. Me and Jace walk to our bedroom, and I walk into our bathroom and close the door. As I undress and get into the the shower i hear the door open again and hear Jace's footsteps enter. "Yes, Jace?" I ask him neutrally. When he answers it hurts me that his voice is so shy and unsure. "I...I was just wondering if i could join you?.. I-if not it fine... don't worry about it." I feel so bad for him... but I'm nkt sure I'm ready for that kind of thing from anyone... so i answer as honestly as I can. "Jace.. I'm just not sure I'm ready for that kinda thing, from anybody." My honest answer, while not exactly what he wanted, he accepted it better than he would, had I told him the whole truth. "Okay, my love, as you wish." Those were his last words before he drew in a great breath and let out a loud sigh and walked from the room. I feel so bad about it, but i don't know what else to do, I want to comfort him and make him feel loved, but as a brother, not as a lover like he deserves. As I get out of the shower, I walk through our room, to the closet and as I walk by, Jace seems to,have recovered some confidence and whistles as I walk by. I giggle, becuase though I do not love him, it still feels good to know someone likes my body. As I walk back into our room, dressed now, I realize my longing for a love i don't need to hide, so whether I am in the wrong or not, i,decided to have fun. "Jace," my voice drops to a silky purr as I speak to him, "we should have some fun." I see his eyes darken with lust as he gets up and walks over to me and gently picks me and kisses me. He walks over to the bed with me in his arms and lays me down and leans over me, kissing me with a warmth i haven't ever felt in Sebastian. Damnit, i think, letting him over take my thoughts again. Instead of letting the thought of him over run my thoughts and actions, i let myself get lost in the moment,in our kiss. After a long while kissing, Jace pulls away and I try to follow his face up but he laughs and pushes me down gently. As I stare up at him questioningly he shyly grasps the hem of my shirt, and pulls it up a little, the question on his face, and I nod. He pulls my shirt off over my head and removes his own, throwing both shirts across the room. He straddles me as I stare at his bare chest, he eyes me hungrily and starts to kiss me yet again, pressing his body against mine. As I twine my tounge with his, i find no thoughts of Sebastian, do this mean anything for me and him? Or am I simply too indulged in the moment?