True Family Love

He's Gone

After my vision clears, all i can do is stare at Sebastian. "Alive? As in still here, in this universe, breathing, and everything??" Sebastian looks startled with the sudden bombardment of questions. "Yes Clary, he is alive. He is hiding in the demon realm. I told Jace this, i assume that's where he went." He looks at me while speaking quietly, "that's partially why I told you I figured you want to go after him." The look on Sebastians face suprised me, he.... he actually appears hurt... but that's impossible, he Sebastian. Now my heart is torn, do I leave Sebastian to look for Jace? Or abandon the thought of Jace and stay with my love. I stand up quickly, causing my vision to swim again. As I sway on my feet, Sebastian lunges and wraps me in his arms. "Are you okay Clary?!" I push away from him, catching the necklace i always wear, it snaps and the silver chain along with the Morgenstern family ring fall to the ground. I look at Sebastian before turning and running from the room leaving the ring where it lay, i run to my own room and slam the door locking it. I jump onto my bed and bury my face in my pillow sobbing. Sebastian comes after a while and knocks on the door, I don't answer and eventually he leaves. I hear his bedroom door slam and the blaring of his music. I would cry more, but I've cried myself out. "Why...why does it hurt so much?" I see a shirt of Jace's and grab it, it still smells like him. I bury my face on his shirt, breathing in the smell of him. The shirt smells of soap and sunlight, "Why did he leave?" Small tears roll down my eyes. I wish he had stayed, do I still love him? What am I to do, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?" I throw my pillow at my door in rage and depression. Sebastian knocks on my door again, "Clary... dinners ready." I don't respond but this just makes him knock on the door harder. "I'm not hungry Sebastian!" I yell at the door, taking off my shoes and throw it. (I've become Isabelle aperently) This earns me a loud kick at the door, and an unsatisfied grunt from Sebastian as he walks off. I eventually fall asleep, my face still buried in Jace's shirt. My body wrapped around it, like maybe me holding it close enough will bring him back... i just can't believe how much I messed up. Jace was right oh so long ago, I never think about what I do. These are my last thoughts as my eyes slide close and the real world fades into that of my dream land.