True Family Love

The Pain of Passion

(P.O.V. Clary)           I awake back in Sebastians room, i feel a scream rising in my throat. I bite my lip to hold it back, not wanting tye attention of Sebastian and gaurds. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and am struck by a wave of vertigo and nausea. I moan and lay back down, covering my eyes with my arm. "This sucks," I say allowed to no one but the bland paint on the walls. Eventually my head stops spinning and I stand slowly, I have to reach out for the wall as I am still weak. I feel my way across the darkened room until I find the lamp. I switch it on, bathing the room in pale sickly light. I walk over to the wardrobe at the end of the room and fling the doors open. To my dismay Sebastians clothes are the only ones stocked within it. I sigh and peel the elegant gown off of my body, still sticky with sweat. I walk into the bathroom turning the shower on, leaving the water ice cold. I step into the freezing flow and let it cascade over me. I shiver as the icy drops prick my skin over and over. I reach up to run my hands through my hair, and find it sticky with blood. I find myself sighing yet again. I bend my head under the cool water, letting it wash clean my scalp. After a good hour, I step out of the shower, wrapping myself in the soft towels. I step into the room and go rummage in Sebastians wardrobe. I finally decide to put my other bra back on. I, to my delight and confusion find panties in a small drawer of the wardrobe. I pull on a small lacy pair, the ones with the most fabric and grab a random tee shirt from within and pull it on over my head. It comes down to my mid thighs, thankfully. I open the door that leads into the hallway and walk right past the gaurd. He seems to suprised to move when he seems me, "Uh, miss?" He calls after me as I continue down the hall, "Miss??" I leave him behind and walk into the nearest guest bedroom hoping to find Sebastian, hoping to confront him. I walk in and see it empty, i am about to walk back out when I hear water running in the bathroom. I walk over and peer inside, I see Sebastians suit crumpled on the floor and hear his aggravated muttering coming from behind the shower curtain. "What's wrong with me?" I hear him almost yell from within, "Why can't I just love her like a normal man. Why do I fight myself everyday over how to treat her?" His mutterings grow louder and more angry, suddenly I hear a crash and the water stops. I back away not wanting to be seen. I step back out into the hall, waiting for him to enter his room. I hear him pacing behind the door and knock. Part of me is relived when he answered and another part of my is dissapointed, i had hoped he would ignore my knocking. He flings the door open, with a towel around his waist, the pale skin of his chest is bright red from his shower. I step forward and lay a hand to his chest without thinking, "are you alright?" I ask, I can hear him inhale deeply as my hands touch him. "You shouldn't be hear," he growls, "your not well." I feel bad for him, after hearing what I heard, how can oke not pity him?.. and yet.. he harmed Jace.. ran him off... Jace could be dead.. "I'm perfectly well enough to check in on my brother," I say trying to forget about Jace, at least for the moment. I push into the room, past Sebastian. I lean against one of the walls, almost begging him to make a move. He is over to me in a matter of seconds, he burys his face in the crook between my neck in shoulder. "How," he starts "how can I tell you how I feel. How am I supposed to tell you that I love you. But that a part of me sees you as nothing. How can I tell you that I love you and want to be with you and rule with you, when I cannot be honest enough to tell you that a side of me hate you with all it can. How do I tell you that I am split between love and hate for you. It is like the shadowhunter blood in me is fighting against the demon blood within me. I'm not sure how I can survive much less love you how you deserve.. I" I cut him off before he can finish, I lean up on my tip toes and press my mouth to his. My arms snake around his neck, pulling him in and down to me, he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me against him. I am suddenly peircingly aware of how close our bodies are, of the fact that he's in but a towel and I'm in just a long tee shirt. I pull away blushing heavily. He sees my blush and picks me up, carrying me over to the guest bed. He lays me down and gets over top of me, he leans down, nuzzling into my hair. "You know, you look great in my tee shirt, but i would bet you look better without it." I blush even more heavily and lean in to press my lips gently to his ear and whisper, "maybe you should find out." He slips his fingers under the hem of the shirt and starts to slowly pull it up.