UNDERCOVER AND IN LOVE

CHAPTER 23: WRONG IMPRESSIONS

Tom had not slept good since this all happened.  Sydney couldn't sleep either, unless she took the sedatives that her doctor gave her.  When she first came home from the hospital she did take them.  But she didn't want to keep on taking them so she didn't.

Tom was feeling a little hopeful and good for the first time, because it was Friday, and he knew that night that Sydney and him would be at Jakes.  He felt encouraged that maybe some how he could convince Sydney to give him another chance and at least talk to him.  Work on saving their marriage.  He knew he wasn't going to let Sydney leave him without putting up the fight of his life. 

Tom took a shower then got dressed.  Tom went to the cemetery and sat and talked to Isabella. He told her again how sorry he was and that it was his fault and that he loved her. He told her how much he loved her mommy and that he had to get Sydney back.  He went to the chapel.  Doug said "hey Hanson you looking better today"  Tom said "I feel better.  I really am praying that tonight is going to help me get my wife back.  I mean I know I have to go slow and things won't automatically be ok, but it's a big first step don't you think?  I mean her agreeing to come out to Jakes tonight with me there. Even if it's a group and we won't be talking."

Harry said "I think it's a big step"  Tom said "I can't wait to see her. God I miss her.  It's taking everything in me not to just go over and camp outside Judy's place.

Sydney was in the living room on the couch staring at the tv.  She hadn't turned it on.  Booker said "morning."  She didn't hear him.  He said "Hey Syd you ok"  She said "Hey I didn't hear you come in."  He said "you ok"  She said "yeah I just Booker I need you to tell Tom that I won't make it tonight. Can you do that for me?"

Booker said "Sydney you already agreed you would come with us.  You really need to get out of this apartment and go somewhere besides the cemetery. I know you're hurting but it's not good for you to isolate yourself from everyone who loves you."  Sydney said "Dennis."  He said "Syd you barely come out of your bedroom. You will hardly eat. Look at yourself, you're sitting here watching a blank tv screen. Please come tonight."

Judy said "What you're not coming. Aw sweetie please come"  She said "you guys I just can't. I can't face Tommy right now."  Dennis hugged her as she cried.  He said "Sydney I promise you you are wrong, he doesn't blame you, he would never even think of blaming you, he blames himself ok. Now I need ask you an honest question and I want you to answer ok"  She nodded.

Dennis said "you still love Tommy right"  She nodded and said "Always will"  Dennis said "ok but is there a part of you inside that blames him, thinks that Isabella is gone because of him.  If it is, that 's ok, but you need to admit it to yourself, so that you and Tommy can work past it."  Sydney said "No it's not his fault.  It's mine. "

Judy said "Sydney it's not your fault."  Sydney said "It is, I should have been strong enough to stop him from taking me out of the apartment. I should have had my purse with my gun. I should have just not fought him"  Judy said "Sydney don't do this to yourself. This is not your fault. And it's not Tommy's.  Mario is to blame for this, and that bitch Jackie who should have warned you guys that he had escaped."

Judy said "Please don't push Tommy away. He loves you. He wants to be here for you and help you. He is grieving just like you. You should do this together.  Dennis are you ready to go"  He said "yeah."

Dennis said "Sydney please just promise us that you will think about going tonight."  Sydney said "Ok but tell Tommy that I'm not coming and then I promise I will think about it, and maybe try and go with you. But I don't want him getting his hopes up thinking I'm coming and then I don't and he's mad."  Dennis said "ok."  He kissed her forehead and they left.