Perfect World

Chapter 34

Chaeyoung POV

"Chaeyoung, let me explain-." I cuts her off once again.

"Hell! I'm still going through a hard time but you weren't there. You decided to cheated on me! You are not there! Not as my lover! Not as my best friend! You just not there! More over, you decide to just leave me hanging there alone! No explanation at all." I said.

"Chaeyoung. Please, let me expla-." I cut her again.

"No! No! Why are you even here?!" I said with anger.

"That's what I am trying to explain!" She yelled.

I put one hand on the steering wheel and the other against my forehead while leaning on the window door. I don't know if I want to hear her. After two years, she just walk away without explanation and now she just decide to walk back and explain. I shook my head unbelievable.

"I want you. I have always want you from the start. I was confused and stupid back then. But now, I'm going to do everything in my power to make us right again." She said softly.

I shook my head. I didn't want to hear it from her right now, its too late. Her cheating was crossing the line and there's no place for that in a relationship. I felt hot tears on edge but I didn't cry. What we had between us is over and I won't let her back in my life. I drove back home and just leaving her there. And Somi didn't bother following. I slammed my door shut, slid my back down the door. I'm a mess. Why is this happening? My breathing started to get heavy and slowly a panic attack grew. I get up and managed to get to my room. Its hurt so bad. Slowly I felt my heart breaking within me, the rage burned within my bones and my heart arched of loneliness.

I wish Mina was here. I thought.

I went over my small side table and grasped in edge. My breath turn hot and I started to get light headed. The tears poured out hard and weren't stop. I put one hand on the wall and quickly knocked over my books on the table. The pain started to fill back in my heart as if she just injected another vile of poison within my heart. My loud cried filled the house. I laid on the bed and slowly cried myself to sleep.

Wonder when my perfect world will come.

............................

My eyes open slowly to see my phone shinning bright next to my face. A new message on my phone. I look up the window and it was dark. I groan and picked up my phone and look at it.

Unknown : Hey, its Sana ;)

Oh. I save her number.

Me : How did you get my number?

Sana : Mina.

Oh course, she did. Mina is the only actual friend I have in Tdoong's high school and the only one that has my number. How genius Chaeyoung.

Sana : So, do you want to go dress shopping at Momo's house?

Eh?

Me : Wait. Why would we go dress shopping at Momo's house?

Sana : oh, girl. Her mom is a designer. She can technically make us anything.

Oh.

Me : Hmm, right. Sure.

Then, she sent me the address which somewhere in town. I let out a sigh. Maybe this will get my mind off for everything. After putting my phone down, I went to my parent's room and I mean technically my mom's room. My dad doesn't sleep in here anymore. He basically sleep on the couch due his drunk nights. I crouched down underneath the bed and grabbed a medium box. I slowly open it. Inside the box it held letters and photos of my family. I grabbed a couple photos, some of them were dusty because I have not looked through these in a while.

After my mom's funeral, it the only thing left I had of her. I would look through these constantly and then all of sudden I just stop. I didn't visit her grave anymore and I didn't respond back to the letters my aunt and uncles would sent and I didn't grieve as much. I tried moving on but it was hard with my dad. I used to take care of him when he started to drink but when I did he started to get angry and then its started to be abused. I don't know why it is my fault. Sooner or later, I started to agree with him. I pondered hard into the photo. I held one close to my face which the photo I and my mom goes to the picnic. My dad took this photo and I admire this one. I let out a small laughed and smile causing me to feel like everything was normal when I knew it wasn't.

I hope that one day he will be okay. I dropped the photo back into the box and grabbed the letters. Before my mom started to live within, the hospital she wrote me letters, what sucks is she wrote them because she knew she wasn't going to make it. I flipped through them and there was one for each special event.

For you when you Prom.

For you when you Graduate.

For you when you met your soulmate.

For you when you get married.

Etc.

My lips quivered. The thought of she preparing herself to go, I mean was she ready? Was this her way of preparing herself? I never forgot the sobs my dad let out when she died in her bed. We both were here, holding her hand and standing beside her. The feeling when his kissed my forehead and laid his chin on top of my head while he cried. I remember he never tore his eyes off of her neither did I. I remember though that was my father's last comforting actions he ever make to me, slowly he didn't care. Same as the time he gone, slowly he didn't care about us.

I always care about him and sometimes I hate myself for that. Maybe because my mom always say that its okay for me to make a mistakes. Everyone makes mistake. And we have to always forgive people for the mistake. She called them misunderstanding which makes sense. I lifted the photo to the edge of my lips and rested it on top. I let out a deep breath and sit on the ground in the dark with a small edge of light peeking through the hall. I don't want anything right now to be a misunderstanding. Being with Mina just made it too precious for any mistakes.