That Summer Night of August

Kabanata 13

"God. I knew you'd like him."

I scoffed at Tim. "Apparently, you're right. I like him, but I will get rid of this feelings! I can't like someone who's still in love with someone else. I swear to God! Iyan ang kahuli-hulihan kong gagawin."

Tumingin sa akin si Tim habang nakangisi na tila may kung anong kalokohan na namang naisip. "Why not do it now? You're gonna do it in the end anyways, like you said."

I did a facepalm. This guy! "Ang sarap mong ilubog sa mainit na mantika. You know I can't, Tim. That's why you need to help me get over it!"

Timothy knew that this was a new thing to me. It was as if after my graduation in high school, everything turned upside-down. I don't know, I just can't explain it. It started from dad, then me and Tim got close, and Tita Tiffany's feelings. And now, this!

This unsure and confusing feelings of mine towards Gabriel.

If anyone in this world that knew me compared to some people... that would be my brother, Timothy. But not that too well though.

"How can I help you?" Kumunot ang noo ni Timothy habang nanatiling nakatingin sa akin.

"I don't know. A date, perhaps? Hanapan mo ako. Kahit sino!" Agad kong iniwas ang aking tingin sa kapatid ko. I felt my cheeks burning. "I just don't want this. Not towards Gabriel.

"You sure, kuya?"

Tumango ako, nanatiling nakaiwas sa kanya ang aking mga paningin. Nahihiya ako sa kapatid ko, siguro dahil ito ang kauna-unahang beses na nag-usap kami tungkol dito.

"Fine. I know someone from my photography club. You're the same age and he's kind of pansexual? I heard him say that. I'll set it for you." Huminga nang malalim si Tim saka nagpatuloy. "But be sure to text me if you feel uncomfortable. I'll get you right away."

Tama ba itong ginagawa ko? Hindi. Alam ko ba ang ginagawa ko? Hindi rin. Ang nais ko lamang ay mawala itong nakakalitong nararamdaman ko kay Gabriel. Kung tatanungin ako kung ano ang rason? Hindi ko rin alam.

Sa buong buhay ko, nasanay akong mag-isa. Malayo sa mga tao at tanging ang sarili lang ang kasama. I liked someone before, but those were so different from what I am feeling right now. Was it because Gabriel can effortlessly pass through the walls I built for how many years? That I don't know. All I knew is that, for some reason, he was the one who can see through me. It was what I was longing for, someone who can see the pain I am hiding. And that happened to be Gabriel.

He saw me in my most vulnerable state, and yet, he didn't pity me. He never saw me as pitiful. But there was something that's making me feel off. I still can't pinpoint it though.

Gabriel was giving me a nostalgia. A childhood memory that has kept in the back of my mind. And I didn't like it.

I really can't remember the days during my childhood, all I can I remember was that my mom got sick. It traumatized me seeing her in that condition. It traumatized me that anyone I would let in my world, would leave me. That was the reason why I decided to built a wall, brick by brick until I can isolate myself.

"Aury! Ouch. Stay from away from him!" A boy said while being held back by the crowd of people with cameras. "Please stop! Please don't hurt my friend!"

Who is he?

My little hands were covering my ear as the flash of cameras covered the whole place.

"Mommy! Aury is hurt. Mommy! Hey, stay away from him! He doesn't like you all!" The boy said crying while trying to pass through the bundle of people around me.