The Secrets We Hold

Chapter 13

It was a typical school day and Adira was with Dimitri, who didn't have to work until after our training session tonight. I had tried to get the words Eric and Rhea said two weeks ago about Lissa's attraction to Dimitri. The fact that they were able to see it tells me that I wasn't going crazy but it increases my worries. Lissa has always had this allure that captured the attention from people, men and women alike. Everybody had liked her sometime in their life, romantically or platonically, except for Christian and Dimitri.

Lissa has changed so much from when I left that I don't even know what she is capable of, but I will find out one way or another.

I made my way from my last class of the day to Lissa's dorm room. The normal class I have at the end of the day had a sub so I thought that I could talk to Lissa as from what Mia told me, she has last class free so she just hangs out in her room which would make this the perfect opportunity to talk to her without prying eyes.

Knocking on the door, I wait a few seconds before it opens. Lissa's faces shows complete shock as I would normally never approach her.

"Hey Lissa. Do you mind if we talk for a little? I think it would be great if we could have a discussion without others listening."

Nodding her head, she lets me into the room before closing the door and taking a seat beside me on the small sofa.

"So, now you finally want to talk." She sneers, her shock wearing off.

"I've always wanted to talk to you, Lissa. It's just that you never really gave me the time to explain. I know it has been well over a month since I've come back but I still have not gotten to talk to you in private." I said before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"You have always been like a sister to me and I know that me leaving a year ago hurt you. It's just that I didn't want to ruin your life by taking you with me to run away, not that Adira ruined my life. I would not have been able to protect you if we ever came across something dangerous; I would always put Adira first. Yes, the motto I follow is that you come first, but it is not the same anymore after having a daughter. I thought that when you hugged me when I first came back that everything would be how it was before and then you started yelling at me. The thing is that I know that I couldn't blame you for any of it but it still hurt." I looked down at my hands in my lap.

Hearing Lissa take a deep breath, she responds. "I'll admit that I may have taken things too far but the day I woke up in the hospital and read the note, I was pissed. You always told me that you would never leave me and you did. In the past year, I have never apologized or taken back anything I said. I focused the anger I felt for you into becoming the Dragomir princess. I do apologize though for what I said about your daughter that first day. I don't know what it is like to feel love for a child and what I said was completely out of line. I'll admit that but you still should have never left. I needed you and you weren't there." There was the sincerity I was looking for.

"Lissa, for once in my life, I needed to put myself first. If I took you with me, you would have been exposed to danger that I would not be able to save you from, not while being pregnant. And if I came back to the academy with you, Kirova would have made me abort Adira and I would not be able to face that along with losing your family." I say, trying not to snap Lissa back into her heartless self. She seemed to be having extreme mood changes I noticed but don't know what is causing it.

But of course, that is exactly what I did. "And I had to face losing my family on my own. You have no idea what that was like." But I did. "I will make sure you pay for everything you put me through in that year you were gone. I'll make you pay for every night I went to bed crying for you to return. I'll make you pay for every day I was alone while everyone looked at me like I was fragile because you were not by my side. I'll pay you pay for not telling me out the stupid bond. Get out of my room now!"