The Way I Love You

8

Y/N POV:

Earlier when my brother had called me, I felt really out of it. I wasn't prepared for it. He usually doesn't call or want anything to do with me. But he promised dad he would take care of me if anything happened. He respects dad, so he will keep an eye out for me, but not with love.

He said he was coming to stay, and I can't tell him no, because no matter how much he dislikes me – I love him. He is my big brother. My hero, who saved me from the bullies, and the guy made me dinner when dad didn't have time. Picked me up from school when it was snowing or raining in heaps. He was there because he had to, but I didn't understand that he had too before I got old enough to take care of myself. And by then I already idolized him.

I'm sitting in Ms. Maximoff's office, she's eating and I'm reading. That's pretty much it. Every now and again I look over the top of my book and catch her looking at me. She doesn't shy away though, she just let's our eyes meet.

She has an inexplicable expression on her face. Or maybe her expression is just arcane. I at least don't know what it means.

I try to focus on reading, but the words blur on the page, I think I reread the same sentence 6 times before giving up. I drop the book to the floor and look up at the ceiling with a groan. "Ugh, no offence but this is boring."

"Oh, come on it's not that bad, you just gotta focus to understand it."

"But my eyes can't take it anymore, I've reread this page 3 times and I'm not wiser."

"Oh poor girl, come here. And bring the book." Her tone is sarcastic pity. I drag myself from the chair, scooping the book up from the floor I make my way over to her. She takes the book and puts it on her desk, going over the page quietly for herself first.

I watch her read, every word is being mumbled on her lips, but they are mute. She runs her finger down the page rapidly. "Okay, where did you fall off?"

I lean down slightly over her and point to the very first word on the page, "about there."

She starts reading the introduction to see if that will make it through to me, but I trail of looking at the picture frames on her desk. One of them is her with a stunning brown-haired girl. Sharp features, perfect eyes. They look happy there, it looks a few years old based on the quality, but she hasn't changed much. She looks just as gorgeous as she does now.

"Y/N are you even listening?" I nod slowly as she grabs my face turning it towards her. "You need to pay attention, or at least try." There it was again her cute giggle.

"Sorry...I just was looking at the pictures," I turn back and nod in it's direction, "that you and your wife?"

"Yes. That's me and Alexandra about 3 years ago, just engaged, actually. We were so naïve back then."

"How come?" I give her a puzzled look.

"We had our share of problems, and we wanted different things, we just though our love was stronger."

My face turns into an even bigger question mark, but she shakes her head and quickly pulls me down towards her. Suddenly I'm on her lap and she's giving me an innocent smile. It doesn't feel innocent.

"Let's not talk about her...you need to focus on passing the test."

"How did you think I could focus when I'm sitting so close to you, nay when I'm sitting on you." I challenge her attempt at changing the topic. She looks me right in the eyes, and we are only a breath away from each other.

Oh god she is so close. Her lips are so close. When she speaks, I can feel the words on me, "I want to kiss you." Her voice is so soft...it's barely a whisper. I can hear her clearly though. I don't hesitate. I want her.

I push my lips to hers. Her hands come around my back and I put mine around her shoulders. It starts of careful, but it doesn't take long before it becomes eager. I let her take the lead, matching her energy as we get lost in each other.

After a few blissful moments we pull away. Catching our breath. Our foreheads meet, as we rest on each other. "We can't do this..." she says, her voice filled with so much sadness. I can't help but wonder if it's because of me or because she can't have me.

"...I know," I take a pause still not breathing properly, "but do you want to?" I pull back so I can look into her eyes. They are dark filled with lust. I know her answer but I still wait. She closes her eyes as our foreheads meet again, "more than anything..."

I can't let her ruin her marriage. I can't make her a cheater. I need to leave. It feels like I can't move.

1

2

3

I pull back suddenly, getting of her. I hurry and grab my bag, I push the first notebooks I can find in there. I stop at the door when her voice rings out, "don't leave." Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave. I have to.

"I can't let you do this." I say with a disappointment in my voice. Of course I want her. I would let her have me, all of me within a heartbeat, but that doesn't make this right. It just makes it worse.

I feel her behind me, her hands snake around my waist and she rests against the back of my head. "Please, don't leave. We can stop, if you want...but we don't have to."

I feel her soft lips hit my skin, as she drags my jumper to the side, revealing more of my neck. Chills run through me, and she grazes her teeth over my skin. She is making it so difficult to leave. I don't want to. I really don't want to. But one of us have to stop, and it doesn't seem like she's the one.

I turn around and she pushes me against the door. I feel my back slam, but she's careful, it doesn't hurt me. My eyes stare right into hers, "what's the plan here miss? What, we fuck right here right now in your office, you go home to your wife and pretend like nothing happened. I go home and can't get you of my mind. We have to see each other every day..." I feel a tear run down my cheek. I can hear how harsh my tone is, but she needs a reality check.

She doesn't say anything, she keeps looking at my lips every other second. I feel her hands play with the waist of my pants. I want to tell her to rip them off, and push inside me but instead I say, "or what, we fuck, you go home, you break it off with your wife, we start something, the school finds out and you get fired...I hate myself for what I do to you, and you end up resenting me."

She leans in closer kissing up the side of my neck all the way to the corner of my mouth, "say the word and I'll stop. Tell me no and I'll let you go." She waits for a tick before continuing. She plants soft kisses on my mouth. One after the other. She's waiting for me to continue. She's giving me time to say no. I can't. I cave in I kiss her back. For the longest time I stay in her arms.

I feel like I could melt right now. It feels so good. I don't want her to stop, not now...not ever...I open my eyes and give her a slight push. To create some distance. I don't even look at her, I don't say anything, I walk out the door. As soon as I'm out of view I run to my car.