The Way I Love You

23

Y/N POV:

I feel my eyes open at the light coming from my window. I don't even remember falling asleep last night. There is an ache in my muscles as my body stirs awake. I turn around and see Wanda facing me. Her eyes closed, her breathing slow and steady.

I edge closer to her, as carful as I can, trying my hardest not to wake her. I know she's a light sleeper. Unlike me, I didn't even notice her come back last night. I look at the wall right behind her, the clock reading 2. Oh god it's 2 p.m. already.

My hand starts tracing her upper arm, immediately her eyes start to move under her eyelids. Shit, I shouldn't have done that. A soft sigh leaves her lips, and I move my hand over her collarbone. Moving further down, running a finger over her chest and back up, over her collarbone and down her arm again.

"Don't stop," I hear her mumble very quietly. "I'm sorry I woke you." I whisper as I start over on the pattern. Her eyes open right into mine and I'm hit with an overwhelming calm green.

"Morning beautiful, how'd you sleep?" I ask when she slowly pulls me closer.

"I slept great my love, what about you?" I rest my head against hers, as she closes her eyes again.

"I don't remember sleeping, so I think it was good." Her chuckle brushes over my lips, "when did you get in anyways?"

"I don't remember, but it was late." I feel her smile against my lips.

"D'you have a good time?"

"Mhm, it was okay, they're good people. But the best part was coming here and getting into bed with you." I feel a hammering in my chest, its so strange how much I love her already.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm, can we just stay like this forever?" Before I can answer I hear a phone ring. Wanda turns around and stretches her arms, flailing it around in hopes to find her phone, "guess not." She says looking at her screen.

I feel my heart sink reading the name on the caller ID. Alexandra <3. I pull myself up to a sitting position on the other side of the bed. Giving her space to answer, without the chance of me being heard on the other end. She sits up too and plasters a smile on her face. It looks and sounds still as she speaks. "Hey Alex, what's up?"

I can barely make out what's being said on the other end, "where are you?"

"I was out yesterday and crashed at a friends' because it was closer." I hate how much I hate being called a friend. Have we gotten too wrapped up in this? I mean after all Alex is her wife. She may not be a good wife but that doesn't mean she deserves being cheated on.

"Well, you better get back here soon, we have to get ready for that thing tonight."

Wanda sighs heavily before asking, "what thing?"

"What do you mean what thing? You know the charity fundraiser the company is holding." She sounds mad, or not mad but frustrated.

"You never told me about a company fundraiser Alex."

"Yes Wanda, I did. I told you a month ago. Told you to put it in your calendar."

"Alex, I promise you didn't, if you told me I would be getting ready now. You know that."

"No Wanda you always do this. You never care about my work. It's like whenever I talk about it you tune out."

"It's because it's all you talk about ALEX. And I always show up. Every time. Every boring dinner you make me sit through where you only talk shop, and every mixer, and fundraiser and dinner party. So don't give me that. If you told me, I would have been there."

"Oh please, you could sound happier about it. I don't see what the problem is-"

Wanda gets up from the bed and walks out of the room, I can still hear her though, "the problem is I'm not happy Alex. And don't pretend you are either. You really can't tell me you're happy about how our relationship is. You sleep on the couch, I never told you to, I never asked you to stay away, you just did. I have never once said you should work less, but you're never home and I'm sick of it. I never see you. And if you're happy with that then maybe you should rethink this whole marriage thing." I hold my breath, I feel like I shouldn't be hearing this. It's not right. But she didn't say she was rethinking it. She wants Alex...I'm so stupid.

All I hear is the low buzzing sound coming from the air conditioner. Until I hear Wanda start talking again, "fine I'll be there in an hour. But Alex this is the last time- if you don't start pulling your weight I'm leaving- for good." I see her through the doorway. Her face hidden in the palms of her hands, as she lets out a frustrated sigh.

A minute later she comes back to the bedroom. I watch her slowly gather her things, she's not meeting my eyes. "So...I guess you heard, but I have to go now. I'm sorry."

"No, it's- I understand." I don't really, but I have no right to say anything.

I get up and walk with her to the door. She stops for a second, I feel her eyes on me, but I just look away. I don't think I can think too much about her or this right now. Though I know that's not possible.

I feel her hands around my waist, but my head turns when she tries to kiss me. I didn't mean to, but maybe it's for the best. "I know this isn't easy, and you can be mad at me...it's okay, but don't freeze me out." I can hear the confliction in her voice.

"I'm not- I think that if you can make it work with your wife...you should. I'm just disappointed in myself for getting attached already." Her hand strokes through my hair. Both our eyes are welling up. This was such a good morning a few minutes ago.

"Sweetie, I don't know what to do. Just- I know it's hard but could you give me some time. I just need some time to figure things out."

I finally face her with a stern look, "take all the time you need...just don't string me along if you have no plan at all of leaving her..."

She pulls my head into her neck as she plants a kiss at the top of my head, she stays there, "okay." I can hardly make it out. "Okay," she says it a little louder. "Okay," now at a normal volume. "I don't know yet, and I hate myself for cheating on Alex, but I can't hate myself for loving you. I've hurt her without her knowing, and I've hurt you even though you told me this would happen. I do love you, just let me figure some things out first."

I nod carefully and drag my lips over her neck. They find her soon enough but instead of bringing them together I let my next words float over her before I turn and leave. "Goodbye Ms. Maximoff." After that I don't hear anything, I don't hear what she says, I don't hear her leave. I just hear a faint ring in the distance, and feel the tears leave my eyes. I feel sad. Wait I feel sad. There's a faint smile on my lips, "I'm sad."