Bangtan Pack

Filling the Void

Growing up in a home with two loving parents and a strong relationship with his older brother, Seokjin lived an extremely blessed life.  Even though he had a rather affluent background, his parents raised him to work hard and care for others.  He always looked back on his childhood fondly.

Those blessings continued when his dreams of becoming actor shifted into the world of K-Pop.  He will never forget how this journey to becoming a global idol all started by bumping into a BigHit talent scout at the bus stop during college.  That fateful encounter opened the door for greatest adventure of his life.

Granted, becoming a trainee and eventual idol had been an extremely difficult journey.  With no natural dancing or singing talent, he had to work even harder.  The amount of effort required on a daily basis was taxing not just physically but emotionally and mentally.  Many days he would endure 12-15 hours of intense practice on top of the work he would need to put in on his own time to keep up with the others. Along with that, he took on the duty of caregiver for his 6 younger members, especially Jeongguk.  

In those early days, their company was struggling to stay afloat since the media was not taking them seriously and the Big 3 companies were throwing up roadblocks left and right.  Finally with the unexpected win of I NEED U, their luck began to change.  That luck exploded not just in Korea and Asia, but globally.  Two years after that fateful win, they debuted in America.  Life was never the same from then on out as their popularity and influence began to grow exponentially.

Even after all the recognition, positive influence, and attention that his group had gained in their career, Seokjin still felt empty.  He channeled that energy into entertaining his members, playing along with the maknaes, and exuding the confidence of "Mr. WorldWide Handsome."  When he was able to overcome that emptiness, it was extremely evident to ARMY.  His confidence would outshine everything.  When it became too much to handle, he would put a mask on.  He didn't want this dark cloud to overshadow everything the he and his brothers had accomplished.

Wearing this mask was something he learned how to manage over the years. To distract him from this pain, he would throw himself into his collegiate studies along with their world tours and busy schedules.  This fake persona came crashing down during the pandemic.  With all the cancellations for their regular schedule, the typical distractions were no more.  Even with filming SOOP, working on BE and their busy Dynamite schedule Seokjin could no longer hide from that pain.

Seeking help from his mentors and professionals, Jin worked hard to combat this depression he had quickly sunken into.  Realizing he had fallen into an Abyss, he knew the only way to combat it was to embrace it and stop running from it.  His 27th birthday was an extremely cathartic experience for him as he openly shared his struggles with the world through his frank VLive and release of his song.  A song named after the void he had succumbed to for far too long.

From then on, even though Seokjin still had a gaping hole in his heart he could carry on.  He felt ashamed for the longest time of that pain due to how blessed his life was.  Advice from Namjoon validating that pain is part of the reason he fell in love with his boyfriend in the first place.

There were clues given to him throughout his life about the potential source of his unknown pain but he never put two and two together until one fateful day in early spring.  The moment Jeongguk and Sienna bonded, Seokjin immediately began to feel a sense of comfort and belonging that he had never felt before.  It didn't register that holding a fainted Sienna in his arms was causing his broken heart to finally heal.  He was too engrossed in diffusing the delicate situation to realize that his soul had acknowledge his other half, his twin sister.